Monday, January 30, 2006

A Rant about the Middle East...

Just some quick updates as I was away from my computer at a conference for work last week. Whew! What a week!

Anyway, just some random thoughts…

Hamas winning control of the Palestinian Parliament. Isn’t it interesting that I saw Condi Rice on CNN today declaring that the US won’t, under any circumstances, deal with the new Palestinian Government. Bush said much the same thing at a cabinet meeting today. Amusing how we hold ourselves up as the paragons of democracy, and feel it necessary to bring our way of life to the rest of the world. But, when the Bush administration DOESN’T get its way, doesn’t get the leaders THEY hand picked, it’s time to sing a different tune. I can hear the gasping and sputtering at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue over here in Cleveland. “What! Gasp! They’ve elected officials we didn’t approve?!? This nonsense would never fly in Iraq, or Afghanistan! Well, who cares if they are duly and legitimately elected members of a foreign government! They’re not our puppet politicians! They’re not our stooges! Democracy, Shmerocracy! This won’t do at all! At least we won’t have this problem when we invade Iran and rename it East Texas!”

The whole argument here is that Hamas is terrorists. And, to some extent, that’s true. But I will admit some bias here on my part. I look at the Palestinian people and don’t see suicide bombers, martyr videos, or wacky Islamic fundamentalists. I see a people who were displaced by a bunch of close-minded white guys in Europe and America who felt that they needed to somehow make amends for not catching on to Hitler and Goerring’s Final Solution earlier. The aftermath of World War II, added to the decisive victory of the Israelis during the Seven Day War, gave them a mandate. (Hmmm. Now who else had a ‘mandate’? I know I just heard that from some politician? Hmmm… A ‘mandate’ to continue a war of aggression. If I think about it, I’m sure it’ll come to mind…{cough,cough}George Bush{cough,cough}) It was this arrogant act of colonialism that put in place an opportunity for an oppressed people (the Jews) to become the oppressors (Arabs).

I know this will put me on some terrorist watch list, but I really think there is a fine line between terrorism and freedom fighting. Now let me backtrack a little here. It is NEVER right, in ANY circumstance, to strap a couple of pounds of plastique to your chest and walk into a crowded marketplace. That is terrorism, no doubt about it. But I think it’s important to look at the causes of such behavior. It’s important to ask where such rage and hate and disregard for one’s fellow man comes from. And I firmly believe that it comes from the oppresion of the Palestinian people by the Israelis. As I said, I have a bias here; and that bias has to do with my own heritage. You see, I’m Irish. And, the situation in Israel reminds me, in no small way, of the conflict in North Ireland. You have a minority, in a position of power, who are oppressing another portion of the populace. Whether it’s Israel, North Ireland, or even South African Apartheid in the 80’s - -it’s an abuse of power that is institutionalized and made possible by the last vestiges of colonialism; a doctrine that still hangs on in certain parts of the world despite the fact that it should have been made illegal at the end of the Victorian era.

And here we have King George, all angry and indignant because democracy - the one thing he says he holds most sacred – actually worked. On top of that, add the fact that even though it was legitimate and shows that Democracy does work, he has to have a pout and sulk because it wasn’t what he wanted. Unbelievable. If I were president, we’d cut the strings and very plainly and vocally let the world know that Israel was on it’s own. Besides probably helping our image in the Middle East as allies to the “evil Zionist state”, it would force Israel to continue it’s oppression of women and children; only without the tacit approval of the most powerful country in the world. If Israel was ALONE, looking across the vast, coffee-colored Middle Eastern desert at several million angry, dark, and bloodthirsty Arab eyes; it’d work its shit out real quick. Sort of like the mouthy bully who knows that his bigger brother is standing behind him, Israel can be cocky and selfassured. Lose the brother though, and look out! Someone’s getting a beating! But, that’s why I ain’t in charge!

Meh, what’s it matter when all is said and done. It’s all tied to the money anyway. The US has a vested interest in having a foothold in the Middle East (not so important now, but it was before we made Iraq and Afghanistan the 51st and 52nd states, respectively) and we’re in too deep. I expect a mushroom cloud somewhere in the vicinity of the holy city some time within the next decade. Mark my words….

On to two other quick links (if you’re still reading…)!

I saw this one and it creeped me out! Go back through my archives and you’ll notice back around Halloween 2005 I made a list of things that scare the hell out of me. Bigfoot is at the top of that list. This link shows a cleanup of the famous Patterson Sasquatch film, taking out all of the camera shakes. Creepy, but cool also…

Then I saw this Blog. It was so funny I laughed out loud, causing people around me at work to look at me like I was insane. I get that a lot. The funny part is that, at any given time, my kids are running around the house and randomly breaking out into Wookiee at one another. It comes from having a Star Wars geek for a father…

Thursday, January 19, 2006

An Excerpt from my New Novel

Here’s a small excerpt from my newest sci-fi/horror novel. It’s been only marginally proofed and is still in the first draft stage…

To give you some back story…We join our protaganists, Sullly and Laura as they come upon a horrible scene while backpacking on Pike’s Peak, Colorado. Sully is an outdoor clothing company representative that gets talked into guiding Laura on a few days hiking trip. Laura is a Olympic Gold Medalist and extreme sport clebrity who is being wooed by Sully’s company. Unknown to either of them, a weaponized virus has been accidentally released by a research scientist. In their time on the mountain, the virus has spread and the world some14,000 feet below them has started to fall apart. The virus turns its victims into insane, skinless, perversions of nature. It twists the bones and makes the infected walking nightmares. This is their first sign that things aren’t the way they were before they left…

“It’s kind of creepy, Sully,” Laura observed.
“I was thinking the same thing, Laura,” I said. As we began slowly walking towards the small gift shop, I explained my misgivings.
“You’re not reassuring me, honey,” she said, trying to keep things light.
I tried to shrug my unease off, “I’m just being stupid, it’s probably just…”
My voice trailed off as we came around the corner of the building and I saw an empty green Jeep Cherokee, the logo of the National Park Service on its side. It was parked at an angle in front of the shop. The trail had come up behind the gift shop and the building had obscured the Jeep.
Upon seeing it though, I felt a shiver run down my spine and gooseflesh break out all over my body.
The driver door was open and both the Jeep’s interior, and the snow around the Jeep, was churned up and stained red with what looked like blood.
A lot of blood.

“All right, now my spider sense is tingling, Sully,” Laura said, after we stood dumbstruck looking at the carnage before us.
“Mine too, Laura,” I said.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” she said.
“That’s no moon,” I replied, without thinking.
“Never mind,” I said, realizing it was shock speaking,
I shucked off the straps of my pack and knelt, setting it on the ground in front of me. I unlashed my ice axe from the webbing on the pack and stood, leaving my pack on the ground. Laura saw me do this and followed suit.
“Stay here, Laura,” I said, “I’m going to get a closer look.”
“Like hell you are,” she said, “First rule of horror movies; never separate. That’s how the bad things happen.”
I looked at her and saw immediately that no amount of arguing was going to dissuade her. I sighed and nodded.
I began walking the rest of the way towards the Glen Cove Inn. I suddenly noticed how loud our boots were as they crunched in the snow. The sound seemed to be almost overwhelming in the thin atmosphere. As I neared within ten feet of the Jeep, I motioned for Laura to stay where she was. She complied with no argument or and I snuck closer to the Jeep.
The first thing I noticed was an unmistakable coppery smell that confirmed that the red was definitely blood. The blood was bright red in the clear, cold air and it was sprayed all about the interior of the truck. I looked inside and saw that the carnage had saturated the floor and carpet. Here and there were more solid red bits that could only have been chunks of flesh.
I was so not all right with the way this looked.
“What do you see?” Laura whispered, leaning towards me expectantly.
“It looks like a charnel house,” I said, slowly moving around to the rear or the Jeep. There was nobody inside or behind it.
I returned to Laura’s side and we had a hurried, whispered conference.
“I’m wondering if maybe it was a bear attack,” I said, not really believing it.
“Black bear don’t normally attack people, do they?” Laura said, as though she had read my mind.
“Mama bears do. But, what worries me is that,” I pointed to the front of the jeep at the ground between it and the gift shop. There was a single track of bloody footprints leading up the shoveled path to the porch and into the Inn.
“Why’s it worry you?” Laura asked. I could tell by her expression that she really didn’t want to know, but had to.
“No bear in the Jeep, so it wasn’t a road kill or a shot bear. No bear tracks, so it didn’t attack whoever was in the Jeep here. And there are no drag marks, which there would be if the bear attacked here. There’s just too damned much blood for the attack to not have happened here.”
“Shit,” Laura said.
“I need to go inside and see if someone’s been hurt. Do you want to stay here?” I asked her.
“No way. We’re a team. If you go, I go.” Laura said tightening her grip on her ice axe.
I looked back at the Glen Cove Inn and saw that it was dark. The carnage in and about the Jeep was disturbing enough, but I still couldn’t get past the idea that this place should have been crawling with tourists dressed too lightly for the cold and gasping for breath in the thinner air like fish in an empty bucket.
I twisted my neck, cracking the vertebra there, sighed, and made my way towards the darkened gift shop.

I tried looking through the windows in the door, but the interior was too dark for me to see anything. Laura tried the other one and shook her head, indicating she had no better luck. I nodded and hefted my ice axe. With my other hand, I slowly turned the doorknob until I felt it unlatch. I then gave the door a nudge with the toe of my boot, grabbing the handle of my heavy aluminum ice axe. The axe felt good in my hand. It had just the right weight to it and it was topped with a twelve-inch blade that tapered to an adequately sharp point. I had slipped my wrist into the loop at the end of the handle to prevent my dropping it if shit went downhill fast.
The door creaked open slowly and I was immediately struck by a smell that I remembered from my youth. I had grown up in Ohio, and like many Ohioans, had deer hunted every winter. I no longer hunted, but I remember my first deer kill like it was yesterday. The worst part about killing a deer is gutting it afterwards. I still shudder to think of how hot the inside of a freshly killed deer is when you plunge your hands into it. Worse than that, though, is the smell that rises from the open carcass. It’s a hot, earthy, pungent smell that is redolent with the penny-like smell of blood, and bile, and piss, and fecal matter.
That’s the smell that emitted from the now ajar door. This smell though, had a different quality to it. I couldn’t explain what it was, but my stomach rolled greasily as I realized that what I smelled was what a gutted human would smell like.
Before I lost my nerve, I kicked the door the rest of the way open.
I saw that the bloody footprints continued across the plank floor and into the darkness at the back of the store. I slowly stepped into the gloom and listened for any sound.
I knew that, inside the door, the gift shop was right in front of me. At the rear of the shop was a small hallway that led to the bathrooms. To my immediate right was an archway that led to the snack shop. All of the shades were drawn, so I could see no further than the light thrown from the open door. I peered at the nearby walls for a light switch, but did not see anything. I was about to reach for one of the shades when Laura slid in beside me.
As I glanced towards her, I heard a wet, phlegmatic sound near the bathrooms. It was like someone had sucked in his or her breath in shock, or excitement; someone with a mouth full of mucus. Laura and I both heard it and snapped our heads in the sound’s direction. Just then, whatever it was made a low, throaty growl.
It wasn’t a human sound. It wasn’t an animal sound, either. I suddenly realized that entering the shop might not have been the best idea.
I had just taken a step backward towards Laura to herd her outside when there came a furtive shuffling sound towards us.
“Laura,” I started, “get out of…”
I never finished my sentence.
Before I could react, a creature the likes of which I had never seen before came scurrying out of the darkness. The creature was like some twisted nightmare. Its red, glistening body was like something from a Bosch triptych and it looked as though it’s entire head was made of pointy, sharp teeth. It made a primal, horrifying sound and I had only a second to realize that it was wearing the remnants of a ranger uniform and it was looking at me with unadulterated human-like hate.
It sprung at me and I fell back into Laura, knocking her onto the porch. I kept my footing, barely, and pulled my ice axe back. The creature rushed at me with a jerky, almost insect like scurrying. I could smell decay on its body, and the fetid effluvia coming from its open mouth. Acting with terrified instinct, I brought the ice axe down just as it reached me. The axe sunk squarely into the top of its head with a meaty thwack. The creature’s forward motioned carried it the rest of the way into me and I staggered under its weight. It was like I had been struck by a bus at a crosswalk.
Both it and I fell backwards, over Laura, and into the snow outside.
I had a little freak out then.
I pushed its bulk off of me and rolled away, screaming in horror. I was brought up short by the loop of my axe ice where it was wrapped around my wrist. I jerked to a stop and then began pulling and pushing at the cord in a mad, panicked attempt to get free from the axe and the Lovecraftian demon lying beside me.
I don’t know how long I struggled there, screaming and gibbering. It was Laura, though, who brought me back. After a few moments of madness, I felt her hands on my shoulders, and heard her voice.
“It’s dead, Sully. It’s okay. Sully! SULLY!” she screamed, striking me with an open hand.
I looked up at her in shock and horror.
“It’s dead, Sully,” she murmured, her hand coming up and stroking my face gently where she had just smacked it.
I let out a snort of air and grabbed the front of her parka with my free hand, “Are you all right, Laura?”
“I’ve been better,” she said.
I looked back at the monster lying next to me and shuddered. I slowly rolled over and lifted myself up to a knee. After another deep breath, I grabbed the handle of my ice axe and gave it a push. The creature, which had been lying face down, rolled over.
It was no less grotesque in the day light.
“What in hell is it?” Laura breathed.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Speechless Arousal

I saw this and had to make a quick post. Must DVR this! All I have to say is, “Oh crap! I just had an orgasm! Oooooo…” This, by the way, is the other women. The one woman I would leave Mrs. Zombie for in a minute. And I’ve told her as much; and she’s responded by patting me on my bald head and saying, “Of course, honey. Whatever.”. God, Scully’s even more beautiful than before – if that’s possible. And with an English accent. I’m lost. I’m done in. Oh god…

Monday, January 16, 2006


So I’ve rewritten this post like 4 times because has had some technical issues. In the 4th retelling, it’s lost some of its initial punch and spontaneity. Sorry about that….

I just got an email from my friend, Christine. She's finally gotten around to reading the blog. That makes the grand total of my readership somewhere in the ballpark of...2. Hey, I'm vain enough to be happy with that. I'll take what I can get! Of course, she had to make the comment that this blog would make a damning piece of evidence against me at my inevitable trial for mass murder; and I have to say I probably agree. But that's what you get with the good Doctor - - complete, unedited, gruesome honesty. You don't like it? Too f'in bad! I found some really cool links, most of them over at at, but I just thought they were worth looking at...

The first is this one. How in the HELL do they find this guy sane!?! Of course, they are going to be making a German language movie based on this guy's story. I really hope they subtitle it and make it available here in the US. I'm sure that someone will get a bootleg, subtitled version on one of the horror websites I frequent, so I'll keep you posted if I get my cold, dead hands on a copy. Real life Hannibal Lectors rule!

You've gotta admit, this guy should get points for being honest! I don't know what's funnier, the guys background and story, the funny pictures of him with a cloak and sword, or the fact that he thinks that Christian America would let him anywhere near the Minnesota governor's mansion, much less the White House. He's so proud of his Alterna-Religion wackiness! Please. Here's some free advice from a real evil genius. Don't be honest about what or who you are. If you want to become a politician, hide what you are, toe the corporate/political line, go undercover. Never let anyone know your true agenda. Then, once you infiltrate the halls of power, once you've fooled them all into thinking you are exactly what every other politician is, you spring the trap! You reveal your true evilness and bathe in the glory when the helpless masses who put you there are unable to do a damn thing about it! Kill the men and revel in the lamentation of their women! This is the way to true power; not by posting a site letting them all in on your evil machinations. Sheesh! It's called lying numbnuts, try it some time…hell – it works for real politicians every day.

Star Trek Alert! Red Alert! Raise shields and arm photon torpedoes! So I saw this at and I have to admit it gave me an initial tingly twinge in my geeky parts. But then I sobered and shook it off. Damn you Paramount Pictures, and damn you Majel Roddenberry! Did you think I was so easily seduced?!? Did you think I forgot the horror that was Star Trek: Nemesis? Did you think the scars didn’t run that deep? I’ll not be sucked in this time, I swear I won’t! (Of course, I will probably shill out the few drachmas to see this. What the hell - - I’m an unrepentant sci-fi geek. But, for gods’ sake, let the Next Generation cast go! Especially Patrick Stewart. Granted, I believe he is a god among men. Who else could so convincingly embody such great characters as Jean Luc Picard, Gurney Halleck, Charles Xavier, and a damn fine Ebeneezer Scrooge? But, given all of that, let the character retire to the pleasure planet of Risa already. The producers should go for Star Trek: DS9 (which ended so poorly), or Star Trek: Enterprise. There’s tons of unmined potential in either of those. And, in the name of all that is holy…please don’t even think about resurrecting Star Trek: Voyager. Please. Shudder.)

I saw this and was mildly pleased with the explanation of an ages old question. It’s a great melding of philosphy, logic, theology, mathematics, and quantum mechanics. It’s a little deep, but sometimes I dig the deep stuff…

Before I wrap up, I wanted to make a few points to my one or two sole readers… thanks for the support, stop back often, tell others about me. And check out my Frapr map in the links to the left. Make sure you join the Undead Minions - -if only so I don’t look like such a lonely dork!

I will probably post an excerpt from my new novel in the next day or two. If you stumble across the site, and have any feeback, let me know. It’d be greatly appreciated.

Good night dear reader. Unpleasant dreams.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Bizarre, Odd, and Strangely Compelling

How do I get one of these! I shiver with morbid delight when I think of how friggin' cool this is. I bet you could find one on EBay. This is just the sort of thing EBay was designed for. I know what I'm doing this weekend, let the search begin!

Another thing I thought would be great to try and find would be a Victorian Era vampire killing kit. I saw one once at the Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum in Niagara Falls and knew I needed to have one. A quick internet search turned up the following information on this odd piece of antiquity (the poster had found one for auction on

Rare Mid to Late 19th Century Vampire Killing Kit!
The original 19th century text from the enclosing wooden box reads:
Vampire Killing Kit
The accoutrements for the destruction of the Vampire

This box contains the items considered necessary for the protection of persons who travel into certain little known countries in Easter Europe where the populace are plagued with a peculiar manifestation of evil, known as Vampires... Professor Ernst Blomberg respectfully requests that the purchaser of this kit carefully studies his book. Should evil manifestations become apparent, he is then equiped to deal with them efficiently... Professor Blomberg wishes to announce his grateful thanks to that well known gunmaker of Liege, Nicholas Plombeur, whose help in compiling of the special items, the silver bullets,etc., has been most efficient. The items enclosed are as follows...

1. An efficient pistol with its usual accoutrements
2. A quantity of bullets of the finest silver
3. Powdered flowers of garlic (one phial)
4. Flour of Brimstone (one phial)
5. Wooden stake (Oak)
6. Ivory crucifix
7. Holy Water (one phial)
8. Professer Blomberg's New Serum

How groovy is this?!? Of course, given that they have to be near impossible to find, one could perhaps make some money making them and selling them on the internet... Hmmmm... has the evil Doctor stumbled upon something here? I am always looking for filthy luchre to finance my various plots to take over the world... mayhap this would be a great way to make some money on Ebay. Let's see; I'd need to lose the gun (don't want to deal with getting an FFL); I'd need to make somewhat pure silver bullets (or paint some CCI Blazers with silver paint; come up with a nicely antique and Victorian looking case,;and figure out what the hell Dr. Bloomberg's New Serum is.
The Doctor must think about this. Ifanybody wants me, I'll be in my lair - The Theater of Terror - plotting my newest scheme.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Money Sucks.

Money Sucks So - I'm not a happy zombie right now. My Jeep had been making a weird grinding noise and whine that was steering related. So, I took it into the shop and now - some $400 later - I have a new steering gear box. This sucks. Mrs. Zombie's mad because we had to dip into Christmas money to pay for it, which we had other plans for. And, when Mrs. Zombie ain't happy, nobody's happy.

To make matters worse, I've been wanting to get an expedition rack for the Jeep for ladders when I do painting side jobs and also to throw gear and/or dead deer on top of when I go hunting or camping. (There is a distinct dearth of room in the back of the Jeep Wrangler TJ. I've seen coffins with more storage space.) And, as I plan on having the TJ for the next 10-15 years, I'm stuck with the small space. That's where an overhead expedition rack comes into play. The only problem with that idea is that they're expense. Really expensive. Prohibitively-fucking-expensive. I did the math on ordering one and it came to something like $625, before shipping. When you're living in a small suburban, three bedroom crypt with two little zombies, a hot Mrs. Zombie, and two stupid undead dogs, there's little room for such extravagence. Sooo, I've been watching the various Jeep boards I frequent and, doesn't it figure, I found a guy who has the exact rack I want for $200. And I just spent $400 on the Jeep so I would have power steering.

And did I mention the black rage Mrs. Zombie's in about this.? Sigh.

So, I call the little Missus. I start the call telling her how much I love her, and how she is like a bright light in the darkness that is my dark and brooding soul. She smelled a rat immediately. When I explained why I needed to spend an additional $200, she threatened me with various demonic means of torture. I tried explaining the importance of the rack, and how it wasn't necessarily a frivolous purchase. She would have none of it. I dare say it was a hard sell. She eventually said, "Fine. Do whatever you feel you need to do." In that tone - that curt, snappy tone that I'm certain mothers teach all of their daughters in preparation for eventual marriage and husbands. I hate that tone. What's worse is that, being a guy, I find myself immediately defaulting to the "Well, she said I could do it. Yeah, she was mad, but she said I could." So now I'm half thinking about pulling the trigger on the deal. It's always better to beg forgiveness than ask permission, right?

Oh - to further complicate the matter - it's not a local deal. The guy lives outside of Chicago. That means that, once I get her less mad at me about the purchase, I've got to break the news that I need to drive 7+ hours(one way!) to go get it. And it'll probably be on a weekend. Calculate gas, and a 12 pack of beer for the seller to help me install the rack for the trip back, and it's suddenly more than just $200 bucks. And she'll be mad because it will b the better part of a weekend. But it's still a deal, right?

I'm so screwed....

Other Thoughts I listened to part of the opening remarks for the Alito SCOTUS nomination today on NPR. I've got to say, the Republicans really piss me off. I understand we Liberals have our shortcomings. Nobody's perfect. We, however, don't have the bald faced affrontery to lie, and lie so blatantly. The Conservatives throw the word 'Liberal' around like it is a dirty word. They've reached such a level of hubris that they've pitched civil, diplomatic, political language out the window. They rail against the Liberals, who they say are as bad as the terrorists. They say the Liberals hate God, hate America, and hate freedom. Liberals hate everything that is good or decent. And they don't even bother to hide behind rhetoric. They said all of those things, in as plain a language as I used, today. On the Congressional record. It borders on hate speech... but wait a minute, I guess that's never bothered them before, so why should it bother them now?

You know what the problem is? King George II. He's so invigorated the right with his talk of mandates and protecting the American Way that he's conviced them all that they are bulletproof. And this belief that you must support the war AND the President, or else you're a treasonous son of a bitch, is bullshit. Well, guess what? I ain't drinking that Kool-Aid. The country needs to wake up - GWB is not a God. He is not above the law. Under him we've had our civil liberties eroded and trampled upon to the point of absurdity. He's said, with the same unapologetic candor, that he will do whatever he wants or feels is necessary to protect America. Even spying on AMERICAN CITIZENS. Joe McCarthy did that in the fifties. The FBI did it under Hoover. The CIA and NSA and Homeland Security do it now. It was wrong then, it's wrong now. Wake up, Liberals, one day you'll wake up and you'll find yourself in the Kingdom of America; presided over by King George II - Supreme Ruler and Emperor. He's like Darth Sidious - only with better complexion and atrociously worse diction. And you know what the funny part is, the Liberals will be screwed because the Conservatives have all the friggin' guns.

In this same vein - Take some time to do a Google search on the Federal No Fly List. Talk about Government gone mad! Most disturbing, especially considering the NSA wiretaps, is the argument that Left Wing political activists - with absolutely NO terrorist connections - are finding themselves on the list. So let me make sure I've got this right... if you disagree with the Bush Administration politically, as is your right as an American citizen, you're a terrorist. Since that's the case, you may no longer freely travel, within the United States, without being subject to harassment or an outright refusal to board an airplane. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I did wake up in some totalitarian dictatorship. May the undead gods save us from the machinations of the right wing theocracy that has suddenly been given a blank check to infringe upon our civil liberties. It's never been more important that you go here. Do it today. Give what you can!

One final link (and off of my soapbox!) I found this link over on MSNBC. It is one of the most clearly written, understandable explanations of science and physics I've ever read. This is what we need to be spending our money on! I may be a Star Wars/Star Trek geek, but damn it if this isn't what we should be working towards as a society. FTL drives on ships for space exploration - - it makes me firm up just thinking about it.

Until later, dear friend.

Friday, January 06, 2006

What D&D Character Am I?

Found this while web crawling. I don't normally do these "what ____ are you", but I really liked this one. It appeals to that Dungeons and Dragons geek that I will always be deep dow!


I Am A: Chaotic Good Half-Elf Ranger Druid

Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.

Half-Elves are a cross between a human and an elf. They are smaller, like their elven ancestors, but have a much shorter lifespan. They are sometimes looked down upon as half-breeds, but this is rare. They have both the curious drive of humans and the patience of elves.

Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

Secondary Class:
Druids are a special variety of Cleric who serves the Earth, and can call upon the power in the earth to accomplish their goals. They tend to be somewhat fanatical about defending natural settings.

Solonor Thelandria is the Chaotic Good elven god of archery and the hunt. He is also known as the Keen Eye, the Great Archer, and the Forest Hunter. His followers respect nature, and only hunt when needed, but are quick to defend the forest from intruders. Their favorite weapon is the bow, and they tend to be extremely talented with it. Solonor Thelandria's symbol is an arrow with green fletchings.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

Monday, January 02, 2006

After Contracting Some Ebola-like Monkey Virus...

So, I’ve been REALLY lax in updating lately. It’s, obviously, been crazy with the holidays. Add on top of that the fact that I got bronchitis, an ear infection, and a sinus infection; and you’ll understand my lethargy.

On the loot end of things, I scored a hefty amount of it for Xmas. It was a good year. I managed to get most of what I wanted, and a few extra things that I didn’t and were a pleasant surprise. Alas, no Harley. But that’s all right. I’m just biding my time on that little purchase. Maybe this summer… The one thing I didn’t get that I really wanted, and I even got a brochure of it for Mrs. Zombie, was a Utilikilt. Gods, how I want one of these. I’ll probably just end up buying it for myself, and hopefully before St. Patty’s day. Oh, one of the best gifts I got was from my brother, Richie. He bought me the Collector’s gift pack of the Universal Studios Legacy DVD’s. It’s Dracula 1931, Frankenstein 1931, and The Wolf Man 1941. It also included some nifty little statuettes that look great on my shelf. Each DVD also has all of the subsequent Universal sequels to each classic film. Things like the Bride of Frankenstien, The Return of Dracula, Frankenstein meets the Wolfman, etc. I’m giddy with joy at this. And the best part is that I can now introduce Zombie Boy and Zombie Girl to the movies that I grew up on. At 7 years old and 5 years old, respectively, it’s definitely time to start their horror movie education.

So I started a new novel. Finally. I’ve been so out of it lately, and I needed to get back into writing seriously. I think this blog has helped that. Add to that the fact that I’m returning to school this spring and I’m finally feeling like I can get back into doing what it is that I love the most. The story has taken on a life of it’s own and I’m finding that it wants to write itself. This is a good thing. My first novel was like that – the voices in my head screamed and screamed and I just wrote what they said. It’s almost like not working, and that’s how the whole writing process should be. I’m so excited about this. In terms of the story, it’s an expansion of a horror/sci-fi story I wrote a few years back. The end kind of went nowhere, so I left it on the back burner. However, I’ve lately been so absorbed with the idea of survival fiction. Whether it’s the Zombie Apocalypse, Alien Invasion, or even Stephen King’s The Stand; I’ve been fixated on the whole idea of the downfall of society and the eventual hunting of people by the evil that’s left. I’ve immersed myself in Deadlogs (LiveJournals, Blogs, etc.) of the zombie apocalypse, The Living Dead movies, and other mediums that describe TEOTWAWKI. I even wrote a short story that was published over at Home Page of the Dead, hoping that would exorcise the demons. Obviously, it didn’t work. But that’s great because I’ve started a new novel based on my current fascination. Watch for updates.

Other Updates: My New Years Resolution (besides continuing to lose weight – NOBODY likes a fat Dr. Zombie!) is to get moving on my multimedia company. I will begin working on the online zine within the next month or so, and then quickly follow up with the first print version. I’m looking at a release date of October 31 (of course!). Finally, I’ll be doing everything I can to get the equipment and funding necessary to begin filming an independent film I wrote this summer. Watch within the next month for me to begin a separate blog detailing the pains I’ll be going through to get that done. Also watch for the Paypal link attached to that site if my few (if any!) readers would like to throw a few galactic credits my way towards the cause. Who knows, maybe I’ll cast you or give you a credit somewhere. I can promise no money or recompense, other than glory, infamy, and notoriety. That’s cool, right?

In that same vein, I’ll probably use Google Ad Sense on the other blog. I’m loathe to do it on this Blog because that’s really sort of whorish to my mind. Besides, with all the railing I do against religion here, the Ad Sense filters would just pick up on the word ‘Christian’ and my ads would all be for bibles, crosses, and Amy Grant Cd’s. Besides making me a whore, that’d be kind of against the whole purpose of what I do here, huh?

One final thing before I shamble into the darkness. I saw the BEST movie last night! I’d read about it on a blog I frequent written by a cat that calls himself Mad Ogre. Funny thing, that. Ogre is a conservative, Republican, Mormon who posts from out of the Uintah Basin in Utah. He is the exact opposite of everything the Evil Doctor is. The thing is he’s still a guy I’d like to sit down and have a few frothy pints of Irish Stout with. He writes about movies, guns, politics, and all kinds of other things. I found him when I was doing a search on a Taurus PT-111 Millennium 9mm a few years back and he’s become a daily check for me. Besides his rabid anti-Liberal ravings, I respect the guy and I suspect we might have been friends had we ever met. Wishful thinking? Maybe. Either way, I like the guy. Anyway, I digress. For years, he’s raved about this movie called Equilibrium. It stars Christian Bale, Sean Bean, and Taye Diggs. I actually tracked down a copy last night and all I can say is, “Holy, Fuck!!” This is one of the coolest damn sci-fi flicks I have ever, ever seen! Christian Bale plays this sort of cop/priest called a Grammaton Cleric. His job is to destroy things that make people feel (art, music, and aesthetics) and kill those who seek out feelings and emotions. The idea works and is brought beautifully to life by the director and actors. And the action scenes! Gods! The Grammaton Clerics practice a highly specialized martial art called Gun Katas. It makes the gun an actual hand to hand weapon and makes the clerics almost Jedi like with their ability to use guns. And the choreography supports this. I’d heard comparisons of this movie to the Matrix in terms of coolness. I’m always leery of this sort of comparison, as it smacks of alternative marketing (Our movie is JUST like the Matrix! Rent it! Really, we just went direct to video because we wanted to. We’re like the Matrix! Really! Please? Pretty please?) This movie though, lives up to the hype – believe me!

If you are one of my true Undead Minions, you must go rent or buy this movie. You will not be disappointed.

That’s all for now as I want to get at least two chapters of the novel written tonight. Happy New Year – may it be filled with dread and gore for all those upon whom you prey!