Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Geeky Movie Links Galore!

I’ve got a whole bunch of links to toss up before I get ready for the 4th of July weekend. There will be beer, bottle rockets, beer, and other things blowing up. Either way, it’ll be nice to take a few days off of work. And drink beer… and blow stuff up.

Some quick links on THE GREATEST ACTOR ALIVE! That’s right, baby. Give me some sugar… I’ve got some Bruce Campbell news. The first is this interview of His Royal Chin-ness. Soak up his wisdom, you primitive screwheads! He’s fucking brilliant! The other link is to a site with a trailer from Bruce’s new film on it – My Name is Bruce. This movie is going to be so awesome. I watched the trailer a dozen times and every time made me laugh that much harder. Hungry like the wolf, baby… hungry like the wolf!

Someday I will meet Bruce Campbell… and I will bask in the brilliance of his god-like existence!

On a more serious note, I found this analysis of China’s rise as an aggressive and territorial superpower. This brings us back to some things I wrote a few weeks back about the Olympics and the western world’s dogged refusal to confront the Chinese about their human rights abuses, censorship, and unwillingness to act as a responsible, peaceful, democratic world neighbor. Everyday I read about another abusive, flagrant, morally reprehensible act on the part of the China government - - and it only proves that I was right about them. We’re all going to pay the price when China decides it wants to get cranky and tries to a) pay back Japan for World War II, b) march across the Russian border to take oil, or c) decide that the US and Canada should be communist and worship (in a wholly, non-secular Marxist way) at the feet of Chairman Mao. Either way, it’s World War III - - and we’re stretched thin because of an illegal war and occupation in Iraq and, soon, Iran. I’m just saying…

This shit just pisses me off. You read that right… it’s going to be a PG-13 Terminator 4. Assholes. The only thing that gives me some hope is that Christian Bale is involved. He has a great ability to pick good projects – but even his luck needs to run out at some point. This kills me because I love the Terminator movies (even the sub-par outing of T3: Rise of the Machines) and I understand that – by many standards – they are PG-13 movies. (Schwarzenegger’s meaty, swinging dong should – in all cases – give a flick an R rating.)But I can’t help but think that we’re seeing that which I hate most about Hollywood today. That is, films made by studio execs who are more concerned about profits and getting asses in theater seats -- as opposed to attempting to make a film with some actual artistic merit. Think a PG-13 sci-fi movie that had strong rated R predecessors can’t fail? Believe me, it can. That’s right Alien vs. Predator-… I’m looking at you!

This blog falls squarely into the realm of “Goddammit! This is brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that?!?” I’ll be adding this to my blogroll because it’s so damned funny. Join Zombie Burt as he travels the world and reports out on his undead adventures. Again… fucking brilliant!

This too made me laugh out loud. I especially find it funny because I am a student of Aikido and I always find myself so conflicted by Sensei Segal. Although he’s a skilled Aikidomaster, I find it hard to not laugh at the fact that he still has that pony tail, runs funny, looks like he ate Chuck Norris, and did that embarrassing environmental-oil-derrick-worker in Alaska movie.

I love lists. I love that I don’t agree with them and that – very often – I especially disagree with what occupies the number one spot. That being said – I find nothing wrong with this list. I found it while tracking down info on No Country For Old Men (which I loved! Best non-horror, non-geeky movie of 2007!) It’s a compilation of the greatest horror movie weapons of all time. Of course - you can guess who wields the weapon at number one, right? Let me give you a hint: he’s THE GREATEST ACTOR OF ALL TIME!

Let the rape of all I consider holy and sacred continue. Some vile sodomite’s sold the rights to Highlander and now they’re remaking it. That’s right. They’re remaking Highlander. I can’t articulate the horror, the rage, the overwhelming despair this fills me with. Do you have any idea how important the original Highlander movie was to Dr. Zombie?!? Let’s put it this way… Zombie Boy’s first name is Connor. That’s right – I named my son after the Highlander himself. How can this NOT suck?!? I’m sure they’ll get some pretty, dumb, vapid actors and actresses from the OC, or whatever show those stupid Gen Y teens are watching now and muck it all up. Never mind the fact that they managed to screw the pooch with all of the sequels (the mere mention of renegade aliens from the planet Geist, or Mario Van Peebles for that matter, is enough to send me into a homicidal rage!). AARRRGGGHHH! First a PG-13 Terminator, now a remake of one of the best science fiction/fantasy movies ever – it’s enough to make me want to kill the co-eds I have tied up in my basement BEFORE I painfully experiment on them. Sons of bitches!

All right. I’ve taken a few deep breaths and beat a few of my zombie minions with a large stick. I feel a little better. On with the links.

More pictures have leaked from the set of The Watchman. Again, I am so excited about this movie. The attention to detail and fanatical devotion to the source material is going to ensure that this is going to be a breathtaking spectacle of cinematic brilliance. I can’t wait!!!

If you’re like Doctor Zombie – I’m sure you’ve spent some time on the occasional internet forum. What I’ve always found so fascinating about them is that they are microcosms of actual social behavior. You have people interacting in a social forum, with the added insulation of anonymity. Very quickly, you see the participants devolve into archetypes of almost Jungian proportion. It’s always fascinated me because, based on the understanding of this – you can always guess which way a post is going to go from the initial topic opening. You can foresee how certain regulars will act, how the group will respond, etc. So – what does that have to do with anything? I found this brilliant piece of science fiction a few days back and it totally captures the world of internet politics. It mixes Godwin’s Law with a forum dedicated to Time Travel. Read it! Seriously! It’s short and it’s totally worth it!

I’ve got some exciting, pee-in-your-pants-because-it’s-so-damned-cool ,Joss Whedon news! Those who know Doctor Zombie in the real world know that I’m a huge Firefly fan. By way of that, I’m a huge Joss Whedon fan. I love all of his work – including Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Drive, and his other shows. But – Firefly is the culmination of all that makes Whedon great and is – quite possibly – the most original and compelling science fiction show to come along since Gene Roddenberry dreamed up Star Trek. Anyway –- check out this site about Joss' newest creation -- Doctor Horrible… It’s a Joss Whedon written and produced internet drama he wrote during the Writer’s Strike. It looks to be shiny!!!

Finally – another movie that makes me all squirmy and excited – Hellboy II! has two great, funny, and creative ad spots for the newest Hellboy movie due to open next weekend. The second one pleases me a lot because it has an appearance by a character from my favorite new show from last fall – Chuck Bartowski! Doctor Zombie commands you to watch the snippets and then plop down your hard earned drachmas to go see Hellboy II. Do it! Do it now! The power of Doctor Zombie compels you! The power of Doctor Zombie compels you! The power of Doctor Zombie compels you!

So - that’s all for now, dear readers. Unpleasant dreams and happy Independence Day! (It is – of course – only a matter of time before you all become my enslaved zombie minions, so your freedom is fleeting. Enjoy it and celebrate it while you can. Mu-wa-hahahahahah!)


pchak said...

Lot's of great stuff to comment on this post.

I about died when I saw Bruce in that Old Spice commercial. At first, I thought it was Richard Cheese (he did "Down with the Sickness" in "Dawn of the Dead" ), but then I did a double take. Ahoy, indeed.

As I commented earlier in your other post about Communist China, they declared economic war on us a long time ago, and they've infiltrated us to the hilt. The Chinese crossing the border to grab Siberian oil is a real threat, and potential touch point for The Big One. There is a fictional account of a nuclear war caused by this called "Arc Light" by Eric Harry (a great read but, alas, no zombies).

As for T4, I have trouble w/T2 and T3 as the time slice for Skynet sending Terminators (and JC sending guardian Schwarzenators) keeps getting pretty small. I also hate that whole "liquid metal" thing. That being said, I love those movies, and as for watching another, "I'll be back."

Segal was always hillarious when he runs. It's as if he has flippers on.

Have a safe and happy 4th.

Dr. Zombie said...

pchak - "Segal was always hillarious when he runs. It's as if he has flippers on."

Oh my god! This made me laugh so I hard I had a little pee squirt out. Bravo, friend. Bra - fucking - vo!

Phronk said...

Woo, new Joss Whedon stuff! I love the guy. Dollhouse looks pretty awesome too, but I'm not getting my hopes up since it will probably be canceled after 3 episodes.

Randal Graves said...

Hey man, did you guys get a chance to check out X-Files yet? If so, what did you think?

pchak said...

Hey Dr. Z-
Are ya on vaca, or what?

I don't do it as often, but I made a guest post on my wife's blog that you might appreciate.

No zombies (unless I find out otherwise later ;-), but a scifi bent nonetheless.