Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Snowy Day Musings

Well, as I write this, we're in the grips of a huge snow storm. They're saying 8-12 inches before tomorrow morning, so I've nothing to do tonight except watch Barack Obama pull down Hillary Clinton's granny panties and spank her naughty bottom on TV. The debate, by the way, is being held where I matriculate - - Cleveland State University. Kind of cool ,I guess.

For my part, it’s been a busy few weeks for the Doctor. I’ve been working on rewrites of my novel, working at my real job, and I even managed to squeeze in a winter campout with Zombie Boy and his Cub Scout troop. (I’ve seen horrors that would make a normal person lose precious bits of their sanity – but none of those horrors compares to the sheer brain melting terror that is a weekend in a snowed in cabin with 15-20 hyper active 8 and 9 year olds. It’s somewhere along the order of the 8th or 9th ring of hell. Believe me…).

So – at work we’re exploring ways of networking with new electronic mediums. So I had to create a Facebook profile. Dear dark Pagan gods! What sort of crack is this?!? I’ve been blogging for a few years, but I’ve assiduously avoided any sort of social network sites because of the simple idea that it wasn’t something I’d be all that interested in. Holy crap was I wrong. Like I said, it’s like crack…it’s like a needle of smack in the veins. It’s taking everything I’ve got to not log into it and just click and play all day. At the risk of impacting my productivity, I need to consciously avoid it. That being said – feel free to come visit my Facebook page and say, “Hi.”

Got some zombie news – some good and some bad. I found a great interview with Our holy father George Romero on his latest flesh eating undead opus – The Diary of the Dead. Also – if you haven’t seen it yet – there’s a few trailers over on the film’s Myspace page. This movie makes me hard. The bad news is that there’s no Cleveland – or Ohio, for that matter – showings of it. Sons of bitches. I am absolutely going to die (again!) if I can’t see this in a theater. However, I’m going for a couple days of vacation with the family in a few weeks. As we’ll be in the Pittsburgh area, I may try to sneak out from the hotel and catch a showing of it. I’ll need to tread carefully, because Mrs. Zombie’s already threatened me with a painful death if I don’t stop bugging her about visiting the Evansville Cemetery and Monroeville Mall while we’re there. Hey! If I’m going to make a pilgrimage to the birthplace of the modern zombie film - - I’ll be damned if I don’t go to the holy sites as well!!!

On a similar note, I’ve been thinking about the blog quite a bit and have come to a decision of sorts. The problem is that I love doing my movie reviews. And that was the initial purpose of this blog, beyond being an exercise in just writing more in general. Unfortunately, I’ve been lax about posting entries on a regular basis – let alone writing movie reviews like I should. And add to the fact that I have – in fact - seen an assload of movies that I’ve never even bothered to write reviews about. So what’s a brilliant, undead, insane, evil zombie genius to do?!? Well – that’s where the decision I’ve made comes in. As I see so many horror films, I need to restrict the content. Well, maybe restrict is too strong a word. Let me say instead that I will be limiting the scope and genre of my movie reviews. Going forward – I will just be reviewing movies about the undead. That means primarily zombies, and peripherally, vampires and ghosts. I think this is a good choice. It means I don’t have to write reviews for the 7 or 8 horror movies I watch in an average week, nor do I have to choke down the bitter taste all of those pg-13 shitbag pseudo-horror movies I feel I need to watch. For instance, a week or so ago I saw AVP: Requiem (Good movie, by the way. Lots of gore, lots of scares, and it made up for the crap-fest that was the original AVP), and this gives me room to focus on and stress about writing a review for I Am Legend; which, by the way, I saw a few weeks before AVP. (Another great movie, but less because it was horror and more because it was about survivalism, that stretched the idea of vampires to weird CGI limits. But I digress…) Anyway, Doctor Zombie’s Midnight Theater of Terror will become more streamlined and low drag. Hopefully it’ll also give me room to write more often. So we’ll be talking about more focused, undead related movie reviews, general updates about all manner of cool, and the occasional personal fart joke on my part. And – if I see a movie that doesn’t fit the genre – I still reserve the right to write about it. Let’s hope this plan works. Fingers crossed…

So – some other links…

First I saw this and – although I loves me some Guitar Hero – this is so much cooler. I imagine there’s a whole generation of kids out there saying, “I can totally play guitar. I rock on the last level of Guitar Hero III on Expert. I’ll totally pwn you!” Thank the dark gods someone decided that, instead of further ruining our kids with video games, they’d come up with a way to learn a new skill besides smacking whores ala GTA, or learning how to bowling with a Wii nunchuck. I mean, seriously, what’s bowling without real bowling balls, an inhuman amount of $1 beers, and the local color of the people you meet at the bowling alley?!?

Let me post this up here….



There you go. This is a picture that’s caused some trouble on Wikipedia. There’s been tons of uproar because Muslims consider it offensive and blasphemous to display pictures of the prophet Muhammed. So there! Thhhbbbt! Go ahead and call a Jihad on me, I dare you! Bring it, fuckers!

Trailer for the new Hellboy. Sweeet! I can’t begin to tell you how excited this makes me! Guillermo Del Toro and Ron Perlman rock at a subatomic level!

Of course it’s nowhere near as excited as this!!! Indiana Jones is back and he’s got a new trailer. Jumping Jesus on a mother fucking pogo stick does this look like it’s going to rock. This is a movie I’ll need to take work off for. There are so few of tose these days!!!

And - because I've got a thing for redheads... here's a link to the Lindsay Lohan nudes with the New Yorker magazine. I link to them for a few reasons. the first being that I'm lecherous, I like naked women, and I have always kind of had a thing for Lindsay Lohan. It's that dirty girl thing... and she's dirty in the good way. (For an idea of how I classify Dirty... Good Dirty is Lindsay Lohan or Dita Von Teese; basically girls who you'd never take home to mom - but they'd teach YOU new tricks and hot damn wouldn't they be fun! Bad dirty girls, on the other hand, are like Brittany Spears, Angelina Jolie, Tara Reid, or Tonya Harding. They're damaged goods, they're train wrecks, and you'll most likely catch something. Yikes!) Unfortunately, Lindsay's on her way to her own train wreck - sadly. The other reason I link to them is because I think they're actually interesting in a few ways. Lindsay's pretty, and the pictures are very tastefully done, but whereas Marilyn Monroe's have a flirty, fun sexuality to them - - Lindsay's have a harder edge. Lindsay has a really haunted look in her eyes, a look I suspect is part desperation and part a recognition that her life may be going in the wrong direction. It reminds me of the look of those pictures Dana Plato took right before she OD'ed on a speedball. Not sure where I'm going with that, but either way, Lindsay's still hot, in her freckle-y, redheaded way.

Finally – one of my new favorite shows is the Sarah Connor Chronicles. And – although it plays with the mythology some - it’s still really, really cool. And Summer Glau is sooooo hot. This show is made perfect by the addition of the beautiful young woman who played Summer Tam in Serenity and Firefly. And, like I said, it’s a bit fast and loose with some of the stuff that happened in the first two movies, but it’s trying really hard to be faithful. That being said, I found this thoroughly geeky breakdown of the Terminator models absolutely fascinating. This is just the sort of nerdy stuff that makes the internet so awesome, and the authors of this are my kind of sci-fi geek. Ahhh… the smell of geeks in the morning!!!

That is all for now, dear readers. Unpleasant dreams and, remember, Dungeon Masters don’t HAVE levels. Dork. < snort!>

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Am I going to have to copyright dirty in the good way (Drew Barrymore) and dirty in the bad (Tara Reid)? I'm watching you, Crowley! ;-)

Dr. Zombie said...

Too late! I've already applied for several copyrights and patents on several Chrissy phrases. I'm shameless and I'm sure you don't know ANY lawyers... : )

Anonymous said...

Some writer. Come up with your own comedy, Slackass! See you in court! :-)