Thursday, January 18, 2007

Music To Soothe The Zombie's Soul

I just wanted to turn readers onto a great site that I've been living at for the last couple of days. It's called iJigg and is probably one of the coolest music sites I've found on the web in ages.

It's sort of the same concept of Youtube where, instead of uploading videos, anyone can upload music. The best part is that it has a super fast load speed, and it has some awesome electronic music.

I especially like Untravel (it reminds me of my friend, kimber's, brother's band - Venus Hum); and Real Sick Fuck (Bestiality is always funny. It's a musical version of what Randall reallly wanted in Clerks II!).

Apparently, the site owners are working through some legal issues, but hopefully you'll be able to download the music to iPods soon.

Speaking of which, Mrs. Zombie let me go out and buy myself an iPod back in December for my birthday. I got a basic shuffle and, truthfully, I LOVE it. I looked at, and could have bought a more expensive nano, or the super size, ultra expensive iHoozawhatsis, but I was really sort of drawn to the simple, sleek design of the shuffle.

If you're on the fence about whether to spend the money on an mp3 player, you cannot go wrong with the Shuffle. For about $70, I have about 150 songs loaded, WITH ROOM FOR ANOTHER 100 or so. I downloaded some things from iTunes, and then ripped the rest from my own cd collection.

Now, you may be saying "But you can't pick your songs! It shuffles your music and you have no control over what it plays next!". And this is true, but I don't see a problem with that. You see, every song i put on it I LOVE. So I don't care about the order.

Plus it's seriously the size and weight of a half dollar. 200 plus of my favorite songs, in a non-skipping player that clips on my shirt for when I go mountain biking is sexy - no matter how you look at it!

Now if i could just download some of the stuff from iJigg...

Friday, January 05, 2007

Where's Winter?

So - - my father and I got into a fight about global warming the other day. I think he’s full of shit.

As I sit here, it is raining (and parts of where I am are flooding for the THIRD time in 6 months) and it is about 60 degrees. There was a little snow back in October, and then it has not been colder than the high thirties since then.

This is unheard of here in Cleveland. When I was growing up, I remember months and months of snow. And months of “booger-freezing cold”. For those of you who’ve never lived in the northern latitudes of North America, you have no idea what booger freezing cold is. It’s what happens when it gets so cold outside that, as soon as you go out, all of the moisture in your nostrils freezes instantly; causing a constricting, tickly, not entirely comfortable feeling in your nose. This phenomenon was a regular part of growing up here in Northern Ohio. And it is happening less and less.

We also have an interesting geographic and meteorological anomaly living here on the southern shore of Lake Erie. It’s called Lake Effect Snow. It’s what happens when Actic, Canadian air blows across the warmer Lake Erie water. This produces snow. Lots and lots of snow. Ungodly amounts of snow. A few miles in from the lakeshore, about where my house is, this combination of meteorological confluences dumps snow on an area known, oddly enough, as the Snow Belt. It is much worse south of me,in a small village called Chardon, and the surrounding areas of Geauga County.

They have been known to get snowfalls that can be measured in the tens of feet range. As in 10+ feet of snow with a good storm.

The thing is, Geauga County is weird in that the people that live there are one of three things. 1)Affluent business people who commute into Cleveland and live in $500k plus houses. They live in Chardon for the ‘provincial, bucolic charm’ of living on the edge of ‘the country’. It’s them, or 2) The Amish. Ohio has the largest Amish community outside of Pennsylvania, and they all live in the snowbelt. I personally don’t mind the Amish, except when I’m in a hurry and they are in their buggies going 15 fucking miles an hour down a 60 mph state highway. Well, that and their funny beards. .

And that leads us to the third denizen of greater Geauga County. They would be the dumb rednecks who’ve been in Geauga County for generations. They really don’t farm or anything, but they all have pickup trucks with stickers that say such enlightened, nonstereotypical things as “Git ‘R Done!!!”, or “Ain’t Skeered”, or the ever popular one of Calvin peeing on the logo of whatever brand of truck they’re NOT driving.

And here is what I lament most about Global Warming. It was these same rednecks who would, when I was growing up, park their trucks when the snow got too deep and pull out the handy-dandy snowmobile to get around. There’s nothing more heartwarming than to drive past a bar on a Friday or Saturday night along US Route 6 in Geauga County and see twenty or thirty snowmobiles lined up in the parking lot.

Then, every year, one of these dumb and hopelessly shitfaced rednecks would be cruising home a bit too fast after last call and invariable find a wire across someone’s driveway.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the true tragedy of global warming. No more decapitated rednecks, because it’s 60 goddamned degrees in January in the Northern Great Lakes.

“‘Cause decapitation, that’s funny – I don’t care who you are…”

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Still looking for a Harley!

For those of you who know me - - you'll know that I've been looking for a Harley for ages. I love the Harleys!

Anyway - I've been looking for a while and have been trying to work some barters or trades with various old Sportster owners, but to no avail. To help with that, I'm posting my current bike everywhere on the web.

To that end: I'm gonna post up a picture of my bike (or at least a picture of a similar bike I stole from Google) on the site for a couple different reasons. They are, in no order of importance:

A) I have a pretty good local readership. Maybe someone who looks at my site would be interested or knows someone who's looking for a good beginner motorcycle (especially if gas prices go up this upcoming year!),

B) I need to link to a picture for some of the on line forums I frequent,

and, C) I'm hoping SOMEONE will take pity on me and buy the damned thing so I can purchase a cheap, basket case Harley before spring gets here. A bunch of my buddies I ride with (with such warm and cuddly names as "The Snake" and "Rabid Wolf") have been really busting my undead balls to get a Harley, and I've been taken with the idea of purchasing an old, old ironhead Harley (That's from the 60, 70's, or early 80's) and turning into a chopped bobber. And I can't do that if I can't sell my Kawasaki Rice Ride!!!!

Sooooo, here's a picture of it....

My bike looks exactly like that - - but it has saddlebags. Actually - The bike itself is a 2002 Kawasaki Vulcan 500 ltd with about 3500 or so miles on it (that's subject to change if the global warming keeps it as warm as it's been this winter :) ) It's always been garaged, comes with saddlebag supports and a tank bib with a pocket for sunglasses, cellphone, etc...

And it can be all yours for the low, low price of $2500 or best offer...

Whaddya think? Know somebody who wants one? Would YOU like one. Truthfully, it'd make a great bike for a beginning rider.

And if you know Mrs. Zombie - - don't let her give you grief about me and my quest for a Harley! She isn't serious. Really.