Thursday, May 06, 2010


So I'm cross posting this from Zombie Squad.

On the Zombie Squad Forum, there's a 'What would you do?' section. It's mostly comprised of questions like, 'If the Zombie Apocalypse started RIGHT NOW, what would you do?' or 'What would you use as money/barter items in a post-apocalyptic world?'

There's also a great deal of tactical/tacticool questions related to self defense, Castle Doctrine, or weapon choice.

A while back, someone posted the simple question, 'You are sound asleep in your bed when you hear from somewhere in your house the sound of breaking glass. What do yo do?'

I normally don't do much posting in the WWYD? section, but this one got me thinking about my unique tactical situation. With the increase in home invasions and things, I actually thought about this one quite a bit.

Although it's quite detailed, here's what I posted:

1. Sleep through the breaking glass.
2. Wake up when my wife punches me because I slept through the breaking glass
3. Stagger out of bed. Naked. Not pretty, but there it is.
4. Yell at my idiot dogs who are probably yipping and baying to wake the dead.
5. Get up to a) investigate, or b) kick whichever idiot dog broke something.
6. In my half awake state, walk around the bed and proceed to trip over a pair of my wife's shoes because she can't seem to ever put them in the closet that's FOUR FRACKIN' FEET AWAY.
7. Curse loudly as I fall painfully into the elliptical, striking the only exposed metal part on it that ISN'T covered with drying clothes.
8. Yell at the madly barking dogs again, adding a threat of taking them to the fucking pound to be put to sleep if they DON'T SHUT UP!
9. Stagger through the darkened wife's shoe/mine field of the bedroom to the top of the steps.
10. Turn around because I've woken up some and realized I might want to get some protection if someone is breaking in. Of course why they'd want to over ALL OF THAT FUCKING BARKING DOWNSTAIRS I have no idea.
11. Grab the Glock 23 and return naked to the top of the steps.
12. Yell I have my gun and will shoot anything downstairs that doesn't belong there... or IS STILL FUCKING BARKING!
13. Proceed downstairs and realize that one of the dogs has knocked a glass off of a table. But I'm up, so let's go ahead and wag our stupid tails and run to the back door with an idiotic, "You're up, Dad! Might as well let us out!" expression.
14. Stand naked at the back door, with my Glock, thinking about shooting the dogs who have to sniff every corner of the damned back yard before peeing for all of two seconds and running back in.
15. Clean broken glass while keeping the idiot dogs out of the glass because, "Hey! Dad's down on the floor! It must be time to play! wOOt".
16. Shoot the dogs a murderous look because they have started barking again.
17. Go back upstairs.
18. Put Glock away.
19. Trip over several pairs of the wife's shoes getting back into bed.
20. Spend the rest of the night staring at the ceiling because now I'm wide awake.

Fucking dogs.

1 comment:

pchak said...