Thursday, October 20, 2005

Heretical Pondering

Been thinking about Religion a lot the last day or two. That's not generally a common thing for me. I'm very firmly an Atheist (with Pagan leanings, as befits my Irish heritage). I was raised Catholic and, as my friend Sean is always fond of saying, "I'm a recovering Cathoholic...".

I became an Atheist in high school, but I went about it the right way, I think. How many Atheists do you know who've read the bible from cover to cover? Mrs. Zombie is a devout Episcopalian (I call her church 'Catholic Lite - all the ceremony, none of the guilt!") and she can't say the same. She finds that exasperating at times because I get these piques of curiosity about Christianity and ask her questions that she can't answer. She just sighs in an exasperated, put upon manner, and calls me a moron. Now that I think of it though, she reacts in much the same way whenever I mention Jeeps, Harley-Davidsons, guns, or just about anything else. But I digress...

Anyway, a couple of things had me thinking about religion lately. The first is the growing dread I have about that sub-intelligent, grotesque buffoon who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The whole hawkish, war-mongering Republican agenda I get. I may not agree with the whole Iraq invasion and his laughably implausible justifications, and I'm smart enough to see that it was about oil and flipping a big fuck you to the UN for stopping King George I from marching all the way from Kuwait City into Baghdad. What scares the hell out of me is that King George II is such a far right, conservative Christian. It exasperates me to no end that Fundies (and I know they hate when you call them that. One would think that if you had the answers to eternal life, you'd have a better sense of humor) are as racially, ethnically, and culturally xenophobic as those nutjobs who flew into the World Trade Center. And to base your whole life, ethos, and purpose on the mandates of religion is absolutely chilling to those of us who see through the facade of faith. Bone chilling.

And George II is as rabidly fundie as Pat Roberts.

The thought that keeps me up at night is that there is an entire group of individuals out there -right now - trying to figure out a way to turn the US into a theocracy. They are the right wing conservative Christian Republicans who hold the Bill of Rights as sacred, but only if it means that the First Amendment should be rewritten making Christianity the national religion and English the national language (the better to read your King James version bibles, I guess). They see nothing wrong with prayer in school (so long as it's Christian), the Ten Commandments in courthouses, or the absolutely retarded 'theory' of Intelligent Design. On that subject, do you really believe that Americans are so stupid as to believe that it's NOT Creationism wrapped up in a different dust cover? Please.

And all of this Fundie hope for a shining, white, homophobic, Christian utopia is being shaped by George II. He being the stooge who legalized 'faith based governement initiatives'. He being the stooge who is right now trying to stack the Supreme Court with his nepotistic cronies in an attempt to overturn Roe v. Wade. He being the stooge who, when asked by ABC news about the US military allowing their personnel to practice Wicca said, "I don't think that Wicca is a religion. I wish the military would rethink this decision.". In the same interview, though, he said that he "...had no problem with the Ten Commandments being placed in every public building". (ABCNews, June 1999) How's that not a double standard? Anyone?

Sigh. I feel an aneurism coming.

Anyway - - other thoughts on religion. I had a thought yesterday. I asked Mrs. Zombie about it and she sighed and rolled her eyes at me, but i think it's a valid question. In the bible, John 3:16 says, "And He so loved the world He gave His only begotten son so that he whosever shall believe in Him shall have eternal life." So, if I get this right, anybody who accepts Christ into their heart and repents all of their sins shall know eternal bliss in Heaven. This got me thinking... is this a loophole? I mean, it really doesn't say there are any qualifiers so, technically, if Satan repented and accepted Christ into his heart - - could he have access to heaven? I might need to look into this a little more. But it seems to me that it's a deliciously blasphemous thought that will undoubtedly get me burned at a stake when George II announces the new, improved Auto De Fe.

Another question I have: In Exodus, one of the ten commandments is "Thou shalt not worship any god above me." Has this ever been analytically thought about. God said, 'Look I'm the #1 F'ing deity around here. Forget about those other guys, or else!' My question is, based on the structure of the scripture, and reading into it - - is God admitting that there are other gods? And, if so, doesn't this kind of blow the whole theory of one god?

These thoughts, and all the doom and gloom end of the world prophesizing with the Hurricanes has me perplexed at the whole Christian gig, man. I just don't get it.

One final thing before I wrap this up. I've a message to all of the Christian Republicans out there. God's not responsible for the hurricanes. Global warming is. And Global warming is a result of all the Republican fat cats' whose companies are belching carbon monoxide and other poisons into the sky and devastating the environment. You might know that if you understood science, but I guess you're too busy trying to push fake science like Intelligent Design down our throats. Gods forbid we should rely on scientifically measurable and observable phenomenon like global warming and evolution! That'd be outside the purview of our Christian agenda!

Enough fundie-baiting for now...

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