Monday, May 07, 2007

Life, Liberty, and LARP'ers

There is a phenomenon out there that I find absolutely unexplainable. It’s called LARP. Now I am a geek. A huge, unrepentant, geeky geek. I spent a considerable part of my teens and twenties in candle lit rooms eating barbecue Pringles, drinking Cherry Coke, and arguing with my fellow geeks that my 12th level Dwarven Cleric could totally kill a dragon with my +12 Battle Hammer of Doom. I own my geekiness. Part of owning this quirk of personality is the understanding that I will get made fun of for it. I TOTALLY get the new Alltel commercials with the cellphone guys in the van when they snort that “…Dungeonmasters don’t have levels!” There is a certain way one is perceived when you can understand what a d12 is, or can quote entire scenes from Monty Python’s Holy Grail, or explain – with great conviction – that while the fight scene from the original Star Trek where Kirk battles the Gorn on Cestus III is still the WORST choreographed fight scene ever…it’s still one of your favorite episodes. Some of us rise above this (like myself) and actually move out of our mom and dad’s house and actually have real sex with real girls and go on to lead normal lives. But, even considering the levels of geekiness I am capable of – even normal Role Playing geeks like myself shake our heads when confronted with the wrongness that is LARP’ing. This is the lowest level of geek – the geeks that get made fun of by other geeks. They are the Untouchable Caste. It is all that is wrong with being a geek. And this guy encapsulates the whole evil, filthy practice… and does it well. There but for the grace of the dark gods of Krynn go I.

And to further show how geeky the good Doctor is… I present a really cool grammar, linguistic thing. I am a word geek. This sort of stuff please the geeky English major that I am….

Yeah, yeah. I know... another political thread. But I also feel it’s really, really, really chilling. This has overshadows of Kristallnacht and if this isn’t something that scares the hell out of you, it should. This is how democracy ends… "First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists, but I was neither, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me. – Martin Niemoeller 1892-1984 "

This is one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen written. Especially considering the writer’s field and audience. I don’t have much more to say about it, just that I’m so impressed with Christine’s courage…

This was a really cool article that struck my zombie fancy. In spite of, or maybe because of, the whole cold war slant… this had the feel of one of those news excerpts that science fiction writers throw into a story to help show how “advanced” their story is from modern day. It had a definite Heinlein or Asimov feel. It could have been written in the 50’s or 60’s. It’s got the Cold War US vs. Russia angle, the wondrous, clean burning, alternate fuel in Helium-3, and even the idea of mining rights on the moon. Gods! I am absolutely chock full of the geekiness today.

At first I thought this was a tongue in cheek piece of satire, but then it dawned on me that this guy is absolutely serious. This is exactly the sort of fearmongering and agenda pushing I was afraid the Virginia tech shootings would cause. Taken in conjunction with the earlier article about dictatorships, and I find myself lamenting what little liberty we have left to give up. I am a minority among my fellow liberals in that I feel that the second amendment is as important and inviolable as every other one in the Bill of Rights - - and fucknuts like this would make the eventual Bush dictatorship EASIER by disarming us. An unarmed populace is no longer classified as citizens - -they are subjects. And idiots like this and the Brady gun-grabbers would rather we become defenseless because they are afraid of guns and the crazy whackos who would want those same evil, people killing weapons. I hope this guy becomes the victim of a home invasion. What do you want to bet if that happens, and his wife or daughter gets raped, he’d want a gun then?

And finally…

Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ! Spiders! In his ear!!!! Gaaaaagghhh! Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! Oh god! Oh god! Where’s a Q-Tip!?! The Doctor is an arachnophobic and this is just wrong! Spiders are fucking evil!!! I’ve said for years that this is what they do when you sleep…but nobody fucking believed me!!! You see! I! WAS! RIGHT!

Go. Leave now. I must go and shudder uncontrollably in the nearest available corner. AFTER I track down some earplugs….

2 comments:

Joshua Perdue said...

It's a sick, sad world out there. When I was in college if you drove by the city park just before dusk you would see LARPers in full regalia. I used to get a little depressed when I saw them.

Simon said...

I am an ex-LARPer. I still have my shield made from plywood and a cut-up leather jacket which I made over 20 years ago. Perhaps one day it may be needed again, if I am called to battle, in times of need...