Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Anal Probes For All!

I wanted to update and throw up some more links that I’ve found lately.

I’m also sorry about the lack of updating lately, but my new job has kept me really, really busy. That and anytime I’m feeling creative, I find myself working on my newest novel. So sorry. I’ll try to update more.

Now bite me.

My first batch of links have to do with extraterrestrial stuff. While looking at these, it’s important to let you know where I stand on the whole “life on other planets” argument. For my part, I believe in the possibility of extraterrestrial life – despite the inherent unlikeliness of it. Insofar as the Fermi Paradox, the Drake Equation, and the Rare Earth Hypothesis contradict the likelihood of alien life – I’m still a diehard sci-fi, Star Trek, Star Wars loving geek. Fermi’s Paradox says that the size and age of the universe suggest that many technologically advanced extraterrestrial civilizations ought to exist. However, this hypothesis seems inconsistent with the lack of observational evidence to support it. That being said, I hold out the hope that there are others out there.

Which brings us to the second part of the equation – are they good or bad?

To answer that, I need to place a condition on my first answer. I absolutely do not – under any circumstances – believe all of those redneck, white trash morons who believe they’ve been serially abducted, or “probed” by wandering greys. How fucking self-important do you have to be to think that an technologically advanced alien explorer has crossed the endless vacuum of light of years of space to stick a probe into your whale eye? Do they really think that the aliens care about the south end of our digestive tracts? And the whole alien-human hybrid thing too. Believe me, they don’t want to mate with us. I’ve got a sinking feeling that – with all the infinite variety of possible intelligent life out there – we earthlings probably have a lock on the deviant sexuality. Sex with aliens is just a reflections of our own degeneracy. Not that I’m saying there isn’t anything wrong with internet porn, plushy conventions, midget sex, S&M, or a good old fashioned boinking – it’s just that I’m certain they’re not interested in our naughty bits.

So the whole good and bad argument should be predicated on the aliens not wanting to peg us in our fudge makers. If they are bad – which I suspect they would be – they want us for some other nefarious reason. Like in Spielberg’s War of the Worlds, or M. Night Shymalan’s Signs. I do believe they could look at us as just primitive, dumb animals to be dissected or used as livestock. But is that evil? Amoral? Or the luxury of being an apex predator with bigger brains than we hairless monkeys? I don’t know.

So – what does that have to do with today’s posting? Well – to get back on track...

The aliens are here! They’re coming! Watch the skies! And they’ve been spotted by different people!!! So – has the invasion begun?!? I should say that I found another article on the internet where someone suggested that these pictures might be part of a guerilla/viral internet marketing campaign for the new Transformers movie. I don’t know though. Pretty compelling pictures, huh? I am not going to be happy if I have to put my plans for single-handed world domination on the back burner to fend off an alien invasion. I’ve got deadlines to meet, people to kill, and contractors who need to get paid for chrissakes!

I found this article also which is a lot less tin foil hat and a lot more real science – an earthlike planet has been discovered. This is exciting on all kinds of levels. You know – it’s funny that it’s possible that an advanced alien civilization could possibly be detected by the SETI project, but we don’t have the resources to listen to a fraction of the universe out there. This discovery is cool in that it gives us something to point the radio towers at. Now if we can just figure out warp drives, we can zip out to take a look see. Where’s Zephram Cochran when you need him?!?

And now for something a little more earthly – this made me laugh so I hard I had a little bit of pee squirt out… I love a good prank. Remind me to tell you about The Great MetroPark Massacre sometime…

Ever have an asshole for a roommate? Ever have someone leave little notes about not cooking fish in the microwave in your office kitchenette? Ever want to punch them in their throats because of their snarky, passive aggressiveness? This is my new favorite site…

And now it’s time for today’s chilling story about President Bush’s campaign to make us the biggest asshats in the free world. If you didn’t see this coming, you’re either a Republican apologist, a naïve moron, or suffering from severe mental retardation. Now let me add that Ahmadinejad’s a dumbass who’s asking to get his nutsack kicked; him and that Castro-wannabe Hugo Chavez. I get that. But can’t we fix the shitstorm we started in Afghanistan and Iraq (where we shouldn’t have been in the first fucking place!) before we go looking for the next contender?!? God, can somebody please take away George W.’s cowboy boots , cowboy hat, and cap gun before he hurts himself or somebody else’s kid?!?

Now scram! I’ve got to fend off an alien invasion!


Butchieboy said...

I thought you dissapeared.

Dr. Zombie said...

Not disappered. Just missing for awhile.

The last thing I remember was you saying, "Here! I got the next round", and drinking a Guinness.

I woke up a week or so ago in a field in Iowa. I was naked and my ass hurt. When I pissed, fire ants came out.

I suspect aliens.