Thursday, July 12, 2007

Vox Deus

Feast your eyes upon the baddest man on the planet!!!!!

I could only hope to be this cool...

In fact, this is so cool on so many fucking levels it's mind-boggling. It's so damned cool I had to go out and buy me some Old Spice.

Now Mrs. Zombie, she was against it. She gave me some crap about how her Dad wears Old Spice. She said something like, "Don't you even think about wearing Old Spice to our bed! Do you want to scar me for fucking life?!? Do you NEVER want to have sex with me again?!?"


Dammit! It's a simple equation: Bruce Campbell says "Ahoy!" and "Buy some Old Spice!". So what's a guy to do? Is it right to deny the commands of one's god?

So, I ran out this last weekend to the local Target and picked me up some Old Spice Signature. That's right - you read that right - Old Spice Signature. I splurged and bought the high test, premium Old Spice. Instead of $4, I paid $6 for the top of the line cologne por homme.

So I went out to the car, hosed myself down just like I imagine Bruce would have, and hurried home, my loins a-twitter and itching for some action.

"Don't give me any of your guff!" says I to Mrs. Zombie, "Get your hot, sexy butt upstairs woman! I'm wrapped in the musk of some Old Spice and I'm feeling all...Rrrrooowwwr!"

It didn't work as well as I thought it would. In fact, and in all honesty, Mrs. Zombie beat me unconscious. But I swear I'm going to try again this weekend. If some Old Spice can make me anywhere as cool as Bruce "Evil Dead" Campbell, I'm sure it'll work out for me and my little zombie...

Hungry like the wolf, Bruce. Hungry like the wolf, indeed...

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