Box of Dread - June 2014 - Unboxing

Box of Dread - June 2014!

Box of Dread continues to be the best $20 a month I've spent. It's not crazy expensive stuff... but it's a surprise and it's a bunch of cool little things that add up to some groovy, geeky, horror-themed goodness.

Project Spooky Door - Week Three

So, my sign made it up a whole week this last time. I replaced it yesterday and found it had been removed over the weekend. Someone has no sense of humor.

In an interesting quirk of fate, the company I work for, here in evil corporate world, is a subsidiary of a larger conglomerate. They dabble in the financial industry, but their bread and butter is manufacturing.

They make all kinds of interesting things, things like ion/nuclear based terraforming generators, planetary mining equipment. They also dabble in commercial space vessel building, colonizing outer rim worlds, and private off world prisons. That's not to mention their lucrative government contract. Their massive synthetics program has both commercial and military applications, and the fact that they have their own private army - The Colonial Space Marines - makes them a true multinational/trans-galactic conglomerate of immense reach.

That's right, we are a lesser known branch of the Weyland-Yutani corporation. 

I've heard strange things around the water cooler. I've heard that they've a secret facility out in Nevada, in the Groom Lake area. They took it over from the US Government some years back. They're doing strange weapons research out there. The words gotten out to the peaceniks too. The company, in order to make sure there's no homegrown terrorist shenanigans that might derail their not-so-secret xenomorph weapons research, have decided to spread the research - and its disturbing and alien specimens - amongst its cast corporate holdings.

Which brings us to this week's Spooky Door.

Could there be things lurking back there? Alien things?

Things with acid blood and sharp, metallic teeth?

I don't know. Maybe. Nobody knows what truly may be hiding behind the Spooky Door.  That's all I'm saying…

Mostly they come at night.

Mostly.




Author's Note: I posted the Alien sign on the Spooky Door yesterday, not having any idea that H.R. Giger - the xenomorph's delightfully twisted creator - had passed. 

Giger was a talented artist who had such an insanely unique vision. His art has been, and continues to be the stuff of nightmares… and I love it. 

My brother, Richie, has a copy of Giger's book, 'Biomechanics', and it is something that I - to this day - covet. Giger's weird mix of the organic and the mechanical, the hard metal and sensually fleshy is unlike anything any artist had ever done… and his grotesque, ultra-modern demonic imagery became one of the most iconic horror monsters of all time. Alien remains, to this day, one of the best horror movies ever made. And my unconditional appraisal of it as such, is largely because of how incredible Giger's designs were. 

H.R Giger will be missed. 

Project Spooky Door - Week Two

I came in on Monday, and someone had removed last week's Spooky Door sign.

It's really early in the game, and I've already made an enemy!

 I'm used to that, though. Someone's got to be the good guy, the Dudley Do-Right, the hero… and someone's got to be the villain, the bad guy.

For the record, I'm the bad guy here. I wanted to be clear about that.

So, like Moriarty and Holmes, our battle of wills has begun. I'll warn you though, faceless do-gooder, you have underestimated your opponent. As your newfound nemesis, you'll find yourself unworthy of my evil -- due to your undoubtedly limited intellect, creativity, and laziness. So it has begun, so shall it end…  in your grisly, painful death!

Anyway, melodramatics aside, Week Two of the Spooky Door project finds us giving into my own proclivities. There's not REALLY a Death Ray in the electrical room with the scary sign. If someone, say an undead evil genius who's name rhymes with… I don't know… Moctor Crombie? Anyway, if this mad scientist had himself a really real Death Ra, he most definitely wouldn't store it at work.

It'd be stored deep in his underground… well, never mind where he'd store it. The point is, as far as I know, there really may be one in there. Hence the need for PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT.

So, this weeks sign…

And a better picture of the bald, evil genius on the sign…

Should this whole door thing be as funny as I think it is? I think I'm getting way more amusement out of this than I should. Seriously. 

 Of course, if you agree that I am, in fact, getting way too much amusement out of something so simple as this, you probably suck. If that's the case, stand still and wait a minute… Imma get mah Deaf Ray and liquimidate you! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Box of Dread - April 2014 - Unboxing

Spent a few days camping in the Wayne National Forest this weekend, and came home to find the April 2014 Box of Dread waiting for me.

I'm not sure how much my regular readers enjoy these unboxing videos, but I do have to say I'm loving the video format of these posts. When I originally envisioned my Doctor Zombie persona, it was within the frame of being a horror TV host. You know, like in the 70's and 80's? A bunch of guys, dressed up like mad scientists who took over the local TV affiliate after the 11 o'clock news on Friday or Saturday night… and made bad jokes and played kick ass horror and monster movies; things like classic Hammer films, or Night of the Living Dead, or classic Universal monsters flicks, or even Grindhouse-style films.

I could see this becoming a more structured show, and I'm kind of playing with the format with these unboxing videos. Perhaps you're seeing the unnatural mutation of Dr. Zombie's Midnight Theater of Terror?!

But I digress. Check out the unboxing video and, if you haven't put down the $20 drachma or shekels or whatever to get on the Box of Dread bandwagon… do so now! I LOVE ME SOME BOX OF DREAD!

Project Spooky Door - Week One

So, I work on the third floor of my building here at Evil Corporate World. I have a cool job. I'm an editor and writer for a lot of our internal communications, so it's pretty neat that I get to do what I love and get paid well for it. Of course, that's not to say I wouldn't give my left nut to be a full time fiction writer… but Dr. Z's got to pay the bills because he likes to have a house, a Jeep, and a wife who'll, you know, actually swallow her disgust enough to have sex with me every now and then.

The thing with working in Evil Corporate World, however, is that one has to find alternative ways to entertain one's self lest said individual becomes dead inside.

Which brings us to my newest fascination and idiocy at work here.

You see, there's a door across the way from my office that, according to the tag, says it's an electrical room.

Makes sense. We have a metric fuckton of computer networks, and the same equivalent electrical needs as an aircraft carrier. Seriously.

So an electrical room makes sense. I understand the purpose of the room. I grock that there might be phone lines, or network servers, or telecomm junctions… or other fancy techno things that my creative right brain wouldn't understand, or give two steaming monkey shits about.

Until you see the sign that they just posted on the door a few weeks ago.

Here's a copy.

What in the holy hell?!? Right?!?

That sign cracks me up. Suddenly a room that is probable the size of a closet with a shitload of wires and that is only visited a couple times a month by some fat, neck-bearded IT guy has taken on a whole new dimension. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick… that sign is bat-shit crazy!

The problem, when presented with a sign of such immense exaggeration is that the creative side of old Dr. Zombie goes into overdrive. I already have trouble NOT slacking and screwing off at work… but the introduction of this weird, alarming, and utterly hyperbolic variable is almost overwhelming to my never dormant sense of laziness. Plus, I'm a writer, and the creative gears are always turning in the vast empty warehouse of my skull. So, I spent several minutes delighting in imagining what might be lurking behind the door, what might ACTUALLY be there, just behind the nondescript yellow door with the klaxon-like, red warning sign. What secrets are hiding there? Is it a CIA safe house? Could it be a portal to another dimension - a portal requiring the added safety of some special portal-proof suit that is inventoried and assigned by Jim… our main facilities guy?

Because if that's the case, I think they're seriously overestimating Jim's abilities. I've been down to ask Jim things, down to his dank office in the basement of the building. It is small, cramped, and overfilled with boxes and tools. It smells bad because it's right next to the loading dock, and I think that the constant saturation of poor Jim's already taxed brain with the diesel fumes that roll off of the Fed Ex trucks may have caused some serious mental injury. Either way, do we want to trust poor, addled, diesel fuel-goofy Jim to protecting us from whatever it is that sits ominously behind the third floor spooky door? Whatever it is, waiting there ominously, champing at the bit to release it's malevolence upon the world.. because NO ONE HEEDED THE DANGER AND WORE THE PROPER PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT!

So… what's a poor undead drone to do. Well, let Doctor Zombie tell you, dear reader.

I am - right now - officially announcing the inception of Project Spooky Door. Or Project Not Doing Any Work.

Whichever. They both work.

I spent about 10 minutes making up some signs and have decided to indulge my reckless imaginings and - in so doing - maybe add some levity to the workplace. At the least, one should look at it like it's a piece of performance art.

I will be updating the sign to the Spooky Door in the hallway on a weekly pass. The sign will hopefully explain what's going on in the room that such strident precautions must be taken.

I'm curious about two things… first, how long before someone actually catches on and pulls the signs down; and second, who'll actually notice.

This is how I entertain myself, and hopefully you'll be somewhat entertained as well.

So, kicking off Project Spooky Door -- here's our first guess at what might actually be behind the door.

Watch out. They're bite-y and know how to open doors!!!

Box of Dread - March 2014

Video blog! I came home to find my monthly mystery box - Box of Dread - waiting for me! 

Check it out! 

Another great month… TOTALLY WORTH THE PRICE! 

Any horror fan would LOVE this! 

A Lamentation and the Origins of a Life-Long Obsession

So, I recently had cause to pull out an old piece I'd written a few years back for a book intro about H.P. Lovecraft. I've been in full-on Lovecraft mode for the last several months because I did an independent study about Lovecraft's development of a unique mythos and its comparison to the classical concept of man's place in the universe. 

I'm still trying desperately to get the paper I wrote published, so hopefully you'll be able to read it sometime too. 

But, on top of that, I ran a one shot Call of Cthulhu RPG with two friends about a week and a half ago, for the first time in like 10 years! So that's had me thinking about the Old Man from Providence as well. Anyway, back to the article… I pulled the article and cannibalized it because I answered the question on the Lovecraft Ezine forum, "When or how did you discover H.P. Lovecraft?".

It was an interesting question, and one that I've examined before. 

I mean, obviously I've thought about it. I wrote a fucking article about it. 

But that also got me thinking about the larger question… why am I the way I am? Or, to put it another way, what is the origin of my unnatural obsession with all things horror and H.P. Lovecraft? 

It's a good question, a question that goes beyond my weird geekishness. As you can see, I'm moving intellectually and writing-wise into actual, serious literary analysis of weird fiction and - more specifically - the titans who defined the current horror universe. From the Victorians like Stoker, Shelley, or Stevenson; to the weird writers like Lovecraft, Machen, Derleth, or Chambers; or the sublimely American masters of early creepiness like Poe or Hawthorne - I'm reading, analyzing and trying to academically and professionally find the roots of literary horror. 

This in no way diminishes my love for all the other tropes and trappings of horror. Horror films, anime, Halloween, visiting the filming sites of classic horror films - my obsession knows no bounds. 

So - again - it asks the question… where did all of this madness begin? 

It all falls, I believe, on my late Uncle James. 

He was only 10 years older than me and, after the death of my grandmother  - when I was around 5 or so - he came to live with us. He was 15, a teenager, and cool... and I idolized him. It was through him that I learned to love horror, and - believe it or not - as an obsessed Lovecraft scholar, I didn't come to Lovecraft until I was in high school myself. But that seed was planted many, many years ago by James. His was a hard life. He lost his mother and father at an early age, and never recovered. He was raised for a time by my mother, who was only a few years older.  He crawled in a bottle at a young age and never crawled out… and that addiction cost him his life at the relatively young age of 52. He died alone. His life came to an end sadly.

But for a time, when he was living with us, he was my favorite uncle and he introduced me to horror movies.

I grew up on a steady diet of horror. Whether it was movies or books, I can remember always being fascinated by the darker things in life. My Uncle James introduced me to the Universal monsters on Saturday afternoons, to The Munsters, and to classic Hammer horror films when I was 4 or 5 years old. His recent death made me reflect on how integral a part of me this early education was, and I will always be grateful to him for that. It’s not much of a legacy, but to me, he was solely responsible for the writer I am today.

I grew up in the 70’s, and as a combination of my Uncle James’ love of horror films and the unique time period it was for toys, movies, and pop culture --  I was inundated with horror in all of its incarnations. I'd stay up late on Friday night watching creepy Hammer films, or Classic drive-in horror flicks on our local late night horror host show. Then I'd then wake up late on on the following Saturday morning and eat Count Chocula and Boo Berry cereal while listening to albums of spooky tales told by the deep baritone of Boris Karloff. Then I'd watch the Saturday afternoon creature features, Addam's Family reruns, and go to bed under my Frankenstein sheets -- under the watchful eye of of an Aurora Model of Lon Chaney, Jr.'s tragic Wolfman.

My fascination with the horrific grew as I did. I taught myself how to read before I was five (and Sesame Street’s The Count taught me my earliest arithmetic) and I remember sitting in the back of the classroom while the rest of my first grade class learned how to read (my parents wouldn’t let me skip grades). While they were learning that the snake says, “Sssss…”,  I was imagining myself hiding in the dark of a cave with Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher, hiding from Injun Joe in the stygian depths. Although Mark Twain hadn’t intended it, he’d come up with a masterpiece of suspense and horror that resonated with my own ghoulish proclivities.

I remember being 8 or 9 and reading Stephen King’s ‘Salem’s Lot; and it scared the crap out of me. I still – to this day – glance at the windows on dark, stormy nights and shudder as I imagine a soft tapping, or perhaps the quiet skree of a bloody fingernail on it. I’ve obviously always had a great imagination, but that imagination is a detriment when you’re in your 40’s and still give yourself the heebee-jeebees imagining the deathly pallor of the Glick boy outside the bedroom window, asking me - pleading with me - to let him in.

I devoured every book I could. My movie tastes evolved as I came of age in the golden age of the 80’s slasher flicks and amidst George Romero’s first holy trilogy of zombie films. I plunged into the darkness and reveled in it.

And yet, against this rich background and vast horror experience, I had never heard of H.P. Lovecraft.

At least not until I was freshman in high school, that is.  I was in a health class, ignoring the teacher and reading Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings for the fourth or fifth time, when the kid in the desk next to me – his name was Sean  - commented on it. We started up a conversation, and as true geeks and purveyors of the odd know, we can smell our own. We became fast friends and he invited me to do something I’d always wanted to do – namely join in one of his and his friends’ weekly role playing game.

He had a disdain for Dungeons and Dragons, having long since played and evolved past that. Instead, my book being a clue to him, he asked me to join him and a few other friends in playing Middle Earth Role Playing (MERP). Surprisingly, I agreed, despite my usual quietness and non-social tendencies. I told him I’d always wanted to do it, and was pleased he’d asked me. The thing is, the more we talked, the more obvious my love for horror became. After a few days, he made a decision.

“D.,” he said, “I think you’d totally love MERP, but there’s something else I think you might like better. There’s a game out there called Call of Cthulhu that’s based on the work of H.P. Lovecraft. It’s a horror game and, although it’s probably not the best game to learn to role play with, I think you’ll really, really like it.”

When he saw my quizzical look at the strange name of Cthulhu and the name of the dark master, Lovecraft, he grew excited and tried to explain to me the Cthulhu Mythos and Lovecraft’s strange world. I had no idea what he was talking about, but it intrigued me nonetheless.

The next day he handed me a dog-eared copy of a mass market paperback with the most disturbing artwork I’d ever seen upon its cover. I held it at arm’s length, shocked at the images upon it.  There were corpses, spiderwebs, and strange insect-like dog creatures with clusters of ruby red, murderous, eyes. There were strange men standing before bloody altars and drawn in such a way as to imply dark human sacrifice and all manner of debauchery. In other words, it had all the things that still warm my ghoulish heart.

 I was speechless, and Sean rubbed his large hands together in delight

“HP Lovecraft, my man…” he said with absolute certainty, “Lovecraft is by far the greatest horror writer of all time. He’s influenced more writers, artists, novels, stories, and movies than any other writer EVER has. His influence is deeper than Edgar Allan Poe’s; deeper than Shakespeare’s. I guarantee you you’ll never be the same after reading Lovecraft. He’ll scare the hell out of you, brother. Seriously.”

Hyperbole not withstanding, damn him if he wasn’t right. That night, as I lay in bed reading The Doom That Came to Sarnath, I experienced true vertiginous terror. Never before had I experienced anything so horrifying, so gooseflesh-inducing, so mind-numbingly terrifying in all of my life. I came to realize that Lovecraft had a unique power, the power to see into the dark, nebulous space between the stars over our heads and in the shadows that lurk in the darkest corners of our homes and SEE things; things that no one else can see. He opened my eyes to new horrors – horrors that are all around us, and I was never the same.  

Needless to say, my first taste of Lovecraft left me hungering for more. I began researching and studying his work -- to the detriment of my own studies at times. I became enamored with all things Lovecraftian; and that love of Lovecraft’s wild New England and the hallowed, brown, ivied walls of Miskatonic University still call to me. 

That following weekend, in the midst of a howling, cold, Northern Ohio snowstorm -- I joined Sean, and two other young men, Jason and Curtis, and we explored for the first time ancient Arkham. Together, we three plumbed the depths of Lovecraft’s mythology and, to this day, I look back at those many hours when the four of us sat in Sean’s attic as some of the best times of my life. That tiny dark room, lit by candlelight and filled with the quiet, but pervasive, sound of dark, eclectic background music. I feel a tugging nostalgia when I recall the deep, melodic, and mesmerizing voice of my friend Jason (our Game Master) as he led us to comb the Miskatonic Library, or investigate a trapper’s shack in the middle of a hoary, primeval Massachussetts forest. We played for years afterwards, and gleefully lost sanity with the role of a die when confronted by one of Lovecraft’s otherworldly monstrosities. Those afternoons and nights are part of who I am today.

One chance encounter in high school health class changed my life, and I will always be grateful to Sean, Curtis, and Jason for making my life better, for introducing me to the man I consider the master of modern horror -- the man whose tombstone reads, simply, “I Am Providence.”

In addition to reading all of Lovecraft’s works, and playing Call of Cthulhu, we also immersed ourselves in the Brian Yuzna-helmed movies that make up the best Lovecraft adaptations to date. I still shudder with delicious pleasure to think of the depravity that is The Reanimator, and cannot look at the actor Jeffrey Combs as anything but ‘that tow-headed freak, Herbert West’. I still devour Lovecraftian moves, and hold dear those that truly capture Lovecraft’s vision; movies like Dagon, or The HP Lovecraft Historical Society’s brilliant silent film, The Call of Cthulhu. I almost wept when I heard that At the Mountains of Madness was not to be made into a film version because of the idiocy of Universal Studios suits.

And, later, as I became more literate, it was almost impossible to not see Lovecraft’s sinister touch in the works of the giants of today’s horror writing world. Brian Keene, Dean Koontz, Edward Lee, even New England’s other dark son, Stephen King. I found out many years later that my first of his novels, ’Salem’s Lot, was his own attempt at a Lovecraftian tale. Lovecraft can be found in music as well. From the overt work of Metallica and a myriad of other heavy metal, industrial, and gothic bands; to the more subtle and visceral musical scores of Nox Arcanum and Midnight Syndicate. Lovecraft is everywhere.

 

Born in Providence, H.P. Lovecraft himself lived a sad, lonely life. Laboring under a persistently ill and quiet existence, he found solace in the writing of the type of stories that had come into vogue in the pages of such classic pulp collections as Weird Tales and Amazing Stories. He was a recluse, but he kept prodigious correspondence with many of the writers of the time, writers like Robert Bloch and Robert Howard.

We know much of Lovecraft through these letters, and through the impressive body of his work. When taken as a whole, we can maybe not forgive his patrician attitude, his racism, his classism, and the other faults that were a product of his time and breeding, but we can give them context. Much has been said of his persistent racism; but now we can look back at the inappropriateness of some of his portrayals and characters, of his representation of New England locals as inbred, degenerate inferiors, as a failing that is eclipsed by his writing. His own somewhat erroneously inflated upper class ideals pale when compared to the brilliance in his imaginative mythos. He created a new world (two, if you consider his Dreamlands) that still resonates through the membrane of the horror genre to this day. 

He died painfully, but his legacy is left intact. Lovecraft was the first to imagine a cold, dark universe in which we’re insignificant insects. He wrote about the darkest fears of man, and the morphic thread that ties occult, magic, and science into one twisted Gordian knot. They are not separate; instead they are inextricably linked.

And that is Lovecraft’s greatest gift to mankind – namely, that WE ARE NOT ALONE. There are things that science, and the occult, and the human mind can’t explain. He is the progenitor of the horror concept that we are not – nor have we ever been - in control.  

And we’re all the more terrified at the thought of that than anything else.

For me, that history -- those throbbing, alien roots of cosmic horror -- inundated all that came after it. The movies, the music, the literature, they all owe a debt to Lovecraft and the others. And it is through my late Uncle James, and the horror movies and books he introduced me to, that I learned my love for them and came to appreciate them. It comes full circle. 

Box of Dread January 2014 Unboxing

Hey, decided to do a video blog update. Check it out below.

I review my first Box of Dread - a horror themed mystery box.



By the way... just to give you an idea of the value of this kick off mystery box, I mentioned it cost like $6.51 for shipping. A further breakdown of the cost of the stuff inside the box (based on a cursory ebay search):
 - Army of Darkness trading cards - $2.99
 - 1979 replica Ripley Action Figure - $19.99
 - Insidious water bottle and lantern - Between $25 and $40.

So... obviously... a shit load of stuff for a mere $20 a month.

If you're a horror fan, this is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Election Day Rant!

To my regular readers - sorry! I'm getting political, and I'm going local. I promise I'll post less neighborhood-oriented stuff soon!

When I went to vote today, I saw several people with 'Vote No on Issue 6 signs'. For those that don't know, we have a renewal levy on our ballot for our schools. It is critical as our schools are in bad shape physically and financially. Add to that the fact that our current superintendent inherited a mess from the previous administration and we have the perfect storm for our school – and children – to suffer. If the levy doesn't pass, all extracurriculars will need to be cut, all AP classes will be cut, band and music and art will be cut. This is partly a result of mismanagement on the part of the prior administration, failure to pass a levy on the last ballot,  and partly the result of the recent economic downturn (Increased foreclosure in the communities means less tax money). To help with this, the teachers union has graciously forgone raises in their last contract negotiations. We NEED this levy to pass. However, we have the 'Vote No' group to contend with. We didn't pass a levy last election cycle because of their negative campaign and the wealth of misinformation they spread. I normally try to refrain from politics… but seeing these people this morning angered me.

The stated goal of this group is to call for 'accountability' of the board and the superintendent. They say the community can't afford more taxes (never mind that this is a renewal and will most decidedly NOT raise taxes). They say that the board is not spending the money correctly. They want to ask the hard questions and think of the tax-payers. Forgive me while I step well past calm and non-judgemental and tread squarely into the vulgar. They are full of shit.

Here's the simple truth: The group against the levy are rabble-rousers and are selfish douche nozzles. They are emblematic of the conservative, Tea-Bag obstructionists who so recently shamed all of us at a national level by holding the government hostage with a shutdown. They – Ted Cruz and his slavering minions, as well as the 'No on Issue 6' group - think they are being patriotic and somehow noble by 'standing up to the way things are done', pillaging the village, and salting the earth on the way out . There is nothing noble in this path. It is selfishness wrapped in the tattered rags of pointless jingoism. In their imagined and perfect world, nobody has to pay taxes and everyone is self-sufficient and life is wondrous and bright. Here's some news – taxes are a part of life. That's how it works. Taxes are an unavoidable side effect of a civilized, effective civilization. Everybody pays their tithe to the government and the government provides for the betterment of that same society.

A good school system is the bedrock of a good community. The value of your home, and the worth of your citizenry can be judged by how well you treat your children. When you are looking to buy a house somewhere new, the first question you ask is "What are the schools like". If the Anti-6 crowd had it their way, the answer would be, "Not good." This has a ripple effect on the community. Bad schools lower your property value, which means you lose money when you try to sell it, if you can at all. And, I don't want to hear the tired excuse of 'Well, my kids are grown" or "I don't have kids in the school district, why should I pay for it". Because that's what responsible members of a community do, you selfish dick. If you're retired, think of your poor kids who may have to sell your crappy house after you die to pay off your funeral and debts. Oh wait! They can't because nobody wants to buy a house that smells of old crotchety people in a city where they have shitty schools. I'd also like to note that some of the people involved in the Anti-6 group are in fact avowed home-schoolers. Now, don't get me wrong, home-schooling is a viable educational alternative. To each their own.But, because you think you can do a better job teaching your kid than professionals, don't penalize every other child in the district because you don't want to pay for something you're not using. It doesn't work like that.

 (EDIT TO ADD: This is not an indictment of home schooling in general. This is directed to a specific group of homeschool parents I know through activities with my kids here in Willoughby. In fact, I know of several exceptional home-schoolers, one of which I went to high school with. She is phenomenal and - despite the fact that her kids are home-schooled - she still understands the big picture of the impact any detriment to our school system is. Home schoolers may not have kids in the schools, but they have a stake as they pay taxes on it. I wanted to clarify that.)

And there's the important point, I think. The fact of the matter is that the Anti-6 crowd is in it to hurt our children. They have even moved beyond the 'Vote No on ALL THE LEVIES' schtick to trying to get several of their members on the school board. They want to expand their obstructionism to tying up the board who is tasked with balancing the needs of the community with the delicate tightrope – and thankless task - of funding the schools and ensuring that our kids receive the best advantages and education they possible can in an ever changing world. The insane Tea Party mantra of 'Burn it all down!" is being directed at our children and our schools.

And I cannot abide that.

Here's how it works: If you are on the school board, your first priority should be the children. You should be an advocate for the schools and for the kids who are attending. I'm not saying there should be no oversight or someone asking if we're doing everything we should, but I am saying that everything you do should be predicated on its benefit or impact on the children of the Willoughby-Eastlake School District. You are not there to  obstruct, to challenge everything the Superintendent is doing, and you are most certainly not there to uphold the agenda of a political group who's purposes are at odds with the betterment of our kid's education.

Please go and vote if you haven't done so yet. Please think of the kids. Don't listen to the bullshit from a small, but vocal group of assholes who are trying to hurt our kids.

Vote!

Music Review - Sam Haynes - Welcome to the Horror Show

I think one of the best perks about having this blog is that I occasionally get contacted out of the blue to do reviews of products - music, movies, etc - that appeal to my horror geek nature.

Granted, I sometimes also get contacted by knuckleheads who have NO clue what this blog is about; but those aberrations are worth the hassle of discovering new, exciting horror stuff.

Seriously.

In fact, about two weeks ago, I received an email from a musician across the pond in England, asking if I'd review his album of horror themed electronic/dance music. Now being an old school goth, who also dabbled in the club scene and did the whole gamut of raves/EBM/dance music in another life - I was more than happy to give it a listen. I should add that - with it being October - I was especially excited to listen to it because Sam Haynes (the musician) said that it was "Inspired by 70s and 80s horror themes but with a new dark sound."

70's and 80's horror themes?!? Those are sexy words right there!

So I downloaded a copy. After listening to it more times than I can count,  I can say that this album is absolutely, undeniably incredible!

On my first cursory listen, I was two songs in when I fell in love with it. The song that did it? The second track, 'Ghost House'. Imagine a John Carpenter theme - the plunking, synthesized perfection of a John Carpenter theme - that morphs and skews into a dark, melodic EBM dance beat. I know, right? Sounds fucking awesome, doesn't it? I can assure you it is.

Here, give it a listen...



My first thought, when I saw the initial email about horror dance music was that it was probably pretty hard to pull off without sounding really, really cheesy. I can say, without hesitation, that Sam Haynes is a crazy talented artist who has made a CD that is nothing short of amazing.

All of the tracks are perfect examples of Halloween music, but music that one could listen to all year round if they were a weird, sad, horror nerd like myself who loves this kind of shit.

Describing the style and influence as being inspired from the 70's and 80's could not be more accurate. There's traces of John Carpenter, the dark and ponderous excesses of an Italian Bava or Fulci score, the unstoppable stalking of serial killers in weird masks, the sexy seduction of vampires, the guttural moans of the undead, and the delightfully electronic nuances of Goblin. This music would not be out of place in a haunted attraction, or on the score of a good, quality horror film. In fact, I've been alternating between this and Midnight Syndicate - non-stop - for the last several weeks.

As we are sitting here, on the doorstep of Halloween, and as the leaves fall like brightly painted corpses from the trees to scatter about ghostlike in the chill Autumn wind; this CD makes the perfect soundtrack.

There are so many wonderful touches here and there. From the aforementioned Ghost House, to the 4th track 'Zombie'; which mixes the newscast audio from Romero's Diary of the Dead with driving EBM beats. The track '31-13' is a chilling mix of The Haunted Mansion and the creepy tones of a funeral home organ. The track 'Halloween' has a playful quality reminiscent of the background music on the Plants Vs. Zombies game, but also captures the feel of a Goblin track. 'Endless Night' is a personal favorite and I dare you to not get out of your chair and pogo around the room when listening to it! In fact, every gorram  track is eminently listenable, and every track is a spooky insight into the heart of a fellow horror and Halloween fan.

I've said it many, many times on the blog... I love to meet and promote other artists through my small corner of the blogosphere here at the Midnight Theater of Terror. This is one of those times. Sam Haynes is one of us, dear undead readers. This is someone with an incredibly talented ear for classic horror movies and a love for the dark. That Sam Haynes has so easily melded the unique sounds of Halloween and horror with ridiculously awesome electronic music is amazing.

While emailing with Sam, he had this to say when I gushed to him about how incredible the CD was, "I wanted to do something a little different to the usual music I hear for halloween. It's part orchestral and part dance music." 

I'd say you did it, Sam. You did it admirably! 

And - because Sam is so kick-ass - he's also added, "I can offer your readers a 20% off discount code for the bandcamp store if you want it all they need to do is enter the code - Halloween - at the checkout stage at this link...www.samhaynes1.bandcamp.com" 

So, I guess it's Happy Halloween to you, dear readers - from Doctor Zombie and Sam Haynes! 

Please take some time to download Sam Haynes' CD. 

You will not regret it! 

Midnight Syndicate Live!

Dear readers, please make sure you take some time to run by Kickstarter and check out the project that my close friends in Midnight Syndicate are working on.

They're trying to fund a live multimedia event that showcases their particular brand of awesome.

I rarely promote Kickstarters, although I get quite a few requests to do so. In fact, I can think of only three... but this is a kick ass cause and I think it's well worth a visit.

Check it out, show some love, and sign up to support a really groovy, kooky, spooky live multimedia event!

Click here to see their Kickstarter page, and check out the video of their plans!

DO IT NOW OR I WILL EAT YOUR BRAINS!

Horrific Road Trip - A Nightmare on Elm Street

A little quick addendum to my update from the other day. While in LA, I got to visit one other horror filming site and took a couple quick pictures.

So -- if you find yourself  in North Hollywood, you can start on North Orange Grove at the filming site  of the Wallace and Doyle house (from Carpenter's Halloween), go one block over, and two blocks south (crossing over Hollywood and Sunset) to North Genesee Avenue.

There, amidst the quiet tree lined neighborhoods of close, but beautifully maintained homes, you'll find yet another house of horror.

That's right, my lovely undead zombie minions... there you'll find the Thompson house from Wes Craven's A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Nightmare on Elm Street was such a great horror movie. If Halloween kickstarted the serial killer/slasher genre of horror films, A Nightmare on Elm Street and its red and green sweater-wearing fiend - Freddy Krueger - reimagined it. It was part supernatural horror, part serial killer, and all grotesque horror.

I first saw it in high school at a girlfriend's house. We watched it in the dark and I remember the geekish thrill I got when Wes Craven's terrifying tale unfolded on the screen before me. Even in high school, I was a jaded horror film veteran. It had been a long, long time since I'd seen a truly scary movie that made me jump and make my skin dimple with goosebumps. Nightmare did that.

It remains a classic even today.

Sadly, much like Michael Meyers, Freddy became a gross parody of himself as the endless sequels dragged on - and the Nightmare series is remembered mostly for the almost vaudevillian slapstick and one liners of the later efforts. However, one should always remember how truly scary and dark the original was.

It was only natural that I should seek out this North Hollywood home, so I added it to my list.

I actually stopped there first thing as it was on my way back from the airport, and I snapped a few quick pictures.

I should note that, a few months back, the house was on the market. I saw that it was for sale on one horror site or another and, of course, sent Mrs. Zombie an email begging to buy it and move to LA. I still live in Ohio, so you can see how that argument turned out.

Anyway, it's been obviously purchased recently as there was a 20 yard dumpster in the side yard and workers going in and out and renovating it.

It still maintains most of the features from 1984 when Johnny Depp and Heather Langenkamp fought the smarmy evilness of Freddy Krueger - everybody's favorite knife-gloved dream killer!

Check it out...

As it appeared in the original film...

And how it looks today...

The door's been replaced. 

Of course, if I was the owners, I'd probably replace the door as well. Especially after how horrible the ending of Nightmare was - when Freddy dragged Nancy's mom through its tiny window headfirst? That scene, and the horrible effect, marred what was in every other respect a brilliant horror film. 

One two, Freddy's coming for you...

Horrific Road Trip - John Carpenter's Halloween

Welcome faithful reader. I don't mean to boast, but I just came back from a kick-ass work trip 

I was given the opportunity to travel to LA for a commercial shoot. if being on a real LA set wasn't cool enough, I stayed right in Hollywood within walking distance of Hollywood and Vine. I could see the Hollywood sign from my window and - on my morning jog - I ran down the Walk of Stars. I also sat in on a taping of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and saw all the sights that are normal for a tourist in Hollyweird, Karloffornia - as old Forrie Ackerman used to call it. 

However, I am a bit of a whore when it comes to business trips and I always make some time to see the sights before I finish. On the company dime, as it were. 

So, when I was done with my work responsibilities, and before I flew home, I did what any respectable horror geek would have done. I made a pilgrimage to South Pasadena - the heart of John Carpenter's Halloween! 

Carpenter's Halloween, as I've said many times before, is the PERFECT horror film. With the thousands of horror films Doctor Zombie's ingested over the years, Halloween remains my favorite horror film.

So, it was only natural that I would want to follow in the steps of that timeless, immortal, unstoppable fiend -- Michael Meyers! 

As I've done before with my Horrific Road Trip Series, I'll alternate screen grabs of the film with my own photos. 

BTW - This is going to be a pretty lengthy post. Sorry about that. Hang on to the end... it'll be totally worth it, I promise... 

Enjoy! 

I started my quest for The Shape in the Shatner mask in Hollywood itself as the homes where Annie Brackett and Laurie Strode are babysitting - and where the lions share of mayhem takes place - was actually in Hollywood. 

On North Orange Ave, off of Sunset, are gorgeous houses with well manicured lawns. The homes where the girls babysit can be found there. 

As I rolled down the crazy busy streets, listening to the dulcet tones of Gwyneth - the British voice of my GPS - the first of the filming sites hove into view. I squealed with geekish delight as I saw the distinct two story where Laurie babysat Tommy Doyle and where Loomis shot Michael. 

Here's a shot from the movie...

And here's how it stands today...

And there, across the street... it's the Wallace house! 

There's a pretty big difference between how it looked in 1978 and today. Sometime in the last 35 years, the house has had a huge addition added on as well as a garage. Check it out.

On the ladder in the first shot are the current owners. I spoke to them briefly and asked if I could take photos of their lovely home. They were really nice and accommodating and the lady, a pretty woman with an English accent much nicer than Gwyneth's, said it was amazing all the attention their home received. In fact, she said, tour busses were constantly driving by. I commented on how awesome their Halloween decorations were. You can see them in the second photo. All in all, they were really great about a weird, fat, horror nerd showing up on their driveway in an Eric Pigors t-shirt. 

After that pleasant exchange, I got back into my rental car (a brand new Dodge Challenger!!!) and left the craziness of Hollywood and its incomprehensible traffic for the 101 and the 20 minute or so trip out to South Pasadena. 

South Pasadena is a gorgeous little suburb of LA that John Carpenter chose as the setting of his quiet, Illinois town of Haddonfield. 

After the incredible opening scene of a young Michael Meyers killing his slutty sister, the camera settles on a quiet neighborhood. The opening scene establishes the small Midwestern hometown of our killer and his victims, and South Pasadena is the perfect Californian amalgamation of this. 

In fact, South Pasadena actually reminded me very much of my own hometown - Willoughby Ohio. It had gorgeous, well maintained craftsman homes, a quaint downtown area, and even a pumpkin patch...

Anyway, here's Carpenter's establishing shot...

And here's how it looks today, with Doctor Zombie! Muwahaha! 

Cool, huh?!?

From here, it was only a short hop to another of the iconic scenes from the movie. As Annie and Laurie walk home from school, Michael plays peek-a-boo with Laurie behind a distinctive looking hedgerow. It only took a little bit of searching to find it about 5 or 6 houses down from the intersection in the opening shot above. 

And here's how it looks today... wait, what's that behind the hedge?!? Oh, it's just Doctor Zombie! Whew...

In the movie, Annie investigates and finds nothing. She calls Laurie over mockingly, and shows her there's nothing there... 

Or is there?

By the way, if you watch the movie, during this scene, you can see smoke drifting into frame from the left - the other side of the bush. That's cigarette smoke from Carpenter, who was standing just outside of frame! 

Two doors down, we find Annie's house. Annie goes in, and Laurie runs into Sheriff Brackett, who laughs, telling here 'It's Halloween. Everyone's entitled to one good scare!' You'll notice the distinct lattice on the facing of the porch...

It's changed little in 35 years...

After this successful shooting site stalking... it was on to more sites in South Pasadena. 

Next, I made my way downtown. If you'll remember, on their way to the babysitting jobs, Laurie and Annie drive through town and run into Sheriff Brackett again. The local hardware store had been broken into by The Shape, where he stole 'some masks, some rope, and a few knives'. The Hardware store then... 

And today it's a string of shops and restaurants.

In that very same scene, after the girls leave, Dr. Loomis arrives to speak to the sheriff. Behind him, Michael slowly drives over the railroad tracks in the town square and away after the girls....

Today, the square is much more developed, but the commuter trains into LA remain...

Oddly, there was a jaunty sort of statue in the square now. It doesn't look anything like Michael Meyers. I think the residents of South Pasadena are negligent in their disregard for their most famous resident! I suppose if one squints, the statue might look like Michael. That's how I'm going to look at it. I mean Detroit is getting a Robocop statue... Haddonfield should have a fucking Michael Meyers statue. Amiright?!?

After ruminating on the travesty and injustice of no Michael Meyers statue, it was time for the piece de resistance! The ultimate in horror geekdom. Much like my visit to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre House... it was time to visit the Michael Meyers house! 

The actual house was moved from its former residence to the downtown area and completely remodeled. It was saved from destruction... which makes up in a small way for no Shape statue. Across the street - seriously, RIGHT across the street  - from the Hardware store, sits the Meyers house. 

Originally, it looked like this...

And today this house of horror, this den of grotesquerie, this abattoir of death... is an insurance agency.

Apparently, I'm not the first horror geek to make this particular pilgrimage... and I'm thinking some other people have ruined it for the rest of us. 

So, after much geekiness and the posting of a selfie of myself in front of the house to Facebook, it was on to other scenes! 

Which brings us to another iconic scene. Early in the film, the girls walk home from school and have their first run in with old Michael.  I tracked down the scene next...

As they leave school, they walk past a distinct brick wall. Soon after, Michael comes around the corner in his stolen station wagon... 

And today... 

And look, it's Dr. Z just wandering along in the footsteps of Jamie Lee Curtis, P.J. Soles, and the heavenly, still sexy Nancy Keyes.

The girls cross the street, and The Shape cruises slowly around the same corner... where Annie yells at him. He jams on the brakes... ominously.

And my humble attempts to recreate the shots...

Awesome, right? (I added the first shot of mine above to mostly show off my kick ass rental car. A Dodge Challenger, in LA, is balls!!! ) As you can see, there's quite a bit of construction behind the wall, and the pachysandra is mostly gone. It looks like they recently redid the sewers on the street and tore them out, sadly. 

Finally, I wandered over to the Strode house. 

There were several scenes with Laura and her own home spread throughout the movie. Nowadays, across the street, is the South Pasadena library.  It was weird really - there were high school students going in and out, moms with baby carriages and picnics on the lawn, and this iconic house of horror across the way! 

I've a few shots of it...

Then...

Now...

Then...

Now...

I don't know... if I was living in Laurie Strode's house, I'm not sure I'd tempt fate by having Halloween accoutrements so brazenly displayed. Would you?!?

So, having spent a thoroughly enjoyable day walking in the steps of the greatest slasher killer of all time, I got back into my Challenger and headed for LAX for my return to the Autumn-gripped, October  coolth of Northern Ohio. It was the first day of October, and I feel I did a great job of living up to the awesomeness of what is - to Doctor Zombie - the best month of the year. As Halloween approaches, I relived the movie that helped redefine horror movies and spawned an entire new horror genre. 

It was a good trip before that, considering why I was out there in the first place. To visit the scenes of cinema history was an added bonus that only a ghoul like myself could appreciate. 

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

By the way, here's the real reason I went out there in the first place. I was out for my work at Evil Corporate world. That's why I was on set and met this really great, funny, smart actress - who is not at ALL involved in horror films. 

Look at Dr. Z - hanging with a celebrity! 

Until next time, my dear, undead minions!