Friday, February 10, 2006

The first thing I do when I take over the world... get to work on my "List".

So, I’ve mentioned ‘The List’ several times. You know, the list that all married couples make that has celebrities on it who would be fair game to bonk if you or your partner were to meet said celebrity. My wife’s list is pretty eclectic. As near as I can recall, her’s includes: Vince Vaughn, Sean Connery, Tim McGraw, Bill Cowher from the Pittsburgh Steelers, George Eads from CSI, and Howie Long. There are several others, but their names elude me.

So, considering my list, I realized that it is frequently changing and that I’ve never really written it down…and since this is my blog, you get to see my celebrity wish list. The following celebrities are in no particular order, they’re all hot and I would give up an undead limb to get busy with any of them.

Doctor Zombie’s Hot-Celebrities-He-Would-Leave-Mrs.-Zombie-For List

  • Gillian Anderson – So hot! Scully, I still watch old X-Files episodes just for you!
  • Charlize Theron – Preternaturally hot. It’s scary how beautiful this woman is!
  • Salma Hayek – Dr. Zombie gets goosebumps (the good kind) when he thinks of Salma murmurring, in Spanish, in his ear, while in bed.
  • Milla Jovovich – Does any one else rewind and pause Resident Evil I and II to see her naked? She’s got no chest to speak of whatsoever, but she’s still got that whole hot European thing. Especially as Leeloo in The Fifth Element.
  • Kate Beckinsale – Kate…dear sweet Kate… It’s all about Selene from Underworld.
  • Allyson Hannigan – Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What can I say, I’ve always had a thing for redheads…
  • Jessica Alba – What normal, well-adjusted, sexually mature guy doesn’t love Jessica?
  • Gwen Stefani – Even pregnant, she’s still drop dead gorgeous and sexy.
  • Sherri Moon Zombie – Almost incestous, as she’s married to Rob Zombie, but us Zombie boys know what we like - - hot blonds who look good splattered in blood.
  • Winona Ryder – Still gorgeous and still my dream girl all these years later. She got a bum rap!

So there you have it. Dr. Zombie’s list. It’s pretty long and pretty exhaustive. Unfortunately, it would take only one of these girls to steal me away from Mrs. Zombie. What the little Mrs. doesn’t know, though, is that I plan on becoming famous someday. And that means I WILL meet one of them, it’s inevitable. Whether it’s through my writing (any Hollywood producers who may be reading this - - email me! I’ll be happy to sell the rights to my first novel! Check the links to the left!), or through my numerous and nefarious plans to take over the world, I will be famous and/or notorious enough to meet one of them. And then I’ll have to explain to the Mrs. that she said it would be okay! That’s the point of these lists, after all.

Seriously. I mean it.

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