As Halloween Approaches!

More Halloween Linkage!

Cool news on the cenobyte front! Fangoria has announced a remake of Hellraiser. Now normally, this shit would piss me off. I mean, c’mon! Hellraiser? Must the studios – once again – rehash a brilliant horror flick, water it down to a harmless PG-13, and rape a beloved piece of horrordom?!? I was about to fly into an uncontrollable psychotic rage when I saw this, but then I saw that it was being written by Clive Barker himself. Well, I guess tht makes it all right then, doesn’t it? (And on a side note, what the fuck happened to Clive Barker? I love Barker for his madness and for some of the greatest and most original horror in the last twenty or so years. That said, I remember he was a fairly handsome, thin Englishman with a beautifully twisted imagination, excellent writing ability, and deliciously horrifying artwork. Have you seen him lately?!? He’s a horribly squat man with a hoarse voice, almost cartoonishly yellow teeth, and complexion that looks like that Eastern European presidential candidate who was poisoned a few years back. I’m baffled…)

Exterminate! Exterminate! Those cool cats at Evil Mad Scientists are at it again. If you remember, I posted up a link to their wickedly cool Cylon pumpkin. Now they’ve gone and done a carved Dalek pumpkin. I’m going to have to add these guys to my links list!

I’ve two links to assholes who take themselves waayyy too seriously. The first is a scientist who goes to great length to explain why there’s no scientific way vampires, zombies, and ghosts can exist. The second link is to a group of psychologists with their panties in a bunch because Halloween perpetuates stereotypes and stigmas against the mentally ill with “haunted asylums” and portrayals of serial killers like Jason Voorhees or Michael Meyers. Jumping Jesus on a fucking pogo stick- what is wrong with you that you can’t look past your stupid agendas and enjoy Halloween for the wondrous, imaginative holiday it is?!? I’ve a message for these dumb asses: you’d best hide when I take over the world with my undead zombie army because I find your lack of faith…disturbing. Congratulations! You just made it to the top of Doctor Zombies “Must Die” list!

This is fascinating and, frankly, reeeeally sexy. Ms. Dewey has become my new search engine! You KNOW that the geeky part of me is trying to figure out a way to make it voice interactive so I can have my own, hot, computer - like the computer on the Enterprise - just with a hot chick to LOOK at. Woo-hoo, Ms. Dewey! (And thanks to my friend Christine for sending me this link. It can be said that Doctor Zombie is merciless to his enemies and magnanimous to his friends, so Chrissy will be made the Queen of Australia when I take over the world. She will, of course, have to be made into an undead zombie, but she gets to rule friggin’ Australia. It’s a small price to pay , but over all, I’d say it’s a win/win…)

And in the same, although mostly drained and collapsed, geeky vein: Vertigo Comics has made some of the first issues of their better comic books available on line. I’m especially excited about HellBlazer. The Constantine movie was great and, although Keanu Reeves dida good job, I think it came out at a time when the world had had enough of old Kanoo (as my brother Richie pronounces his name). Along the same lines, I’d love to get a copy of the first Hellboy. I happened to DVR the Hellboy cartoon this last weekend and I really liked it. I know it was mostly a prelude to the new Hellboy movie, but I loved the first - - so it’s okay. Zombie Boy loved it also. I don’t care what anybody says, the creature at the end of Hellboy the movie is the single best representation of the unwholesome and alien visions of HP Lovecraft ever put to celluloid. It gives me gooseflesh and shivers thinking about the dark perfection of the Elder Ones and Outer Gods. Brrr… Any way, I digress - back to the comic. I expect I will be utilizing the color printer at work and rediscovering the joy of John Constantine…

One last Halloween link, I promise! Here’s the official site of Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Monster Mash! Revel in the cheesy graphics and craptastic flash web design! Marvel at the poorly rendered sound effects! Hire Bobby Pickett to sing The Monster Mash at your next Halloween party because, apparently, when your whole career is predicated on one novelty song, you can’t even score a booking at the local rib cookoff. It’s sad really… and the Doctor would like to go on record and say that The Monster Mash is one of his favorite Halloween related novelty songs.

That’s all for now, my lovely undead minions! 2 ½ hours to go until Halloween officially begins and I’ve some last minute adjustments to make to various, nefarious, evil contraptions I’ve brewed up in my lab deep beneath the bloody stage of the Midnight Theater of Terror! I’ll update later this week as I will be otherwise occupied with the various stalking and rending of warm, bloody flesh!

Happy Halloween!